He wants me to abort against my wish

Mar 27, 2009

Dear Aunt liz,<br>I am 23 years and a finalist at the university. After missing my periods for two months, I decided to have a pregnancy test. The results turned out positive and I was informed that by August this year, I would be a mother.

Dear Aunt liz,
I am 23 years and a finalist at the university. After missing my periods for two months, I decided to have a pregnancy test. The results turned out positive and I was informed that by August this year, I would be a mother. When I told my partner, he told me that I have to find a solution because according to his religious norms, it is bad to give birth outside marriage. I don’t know what to do since I fear abortion! Please help.
Uuhm, Kampala


Dear Uuhm,
Making choices in life is not an easy task. The decision you are faced with must be a tough one. Pregnancy brings a lot of anxiety to an expectant mother whether it was wanted or unwanted. This can be overwhelming especially if your partner or those close to you are not supportive. You raised the issue of abortion. Are you under pressure from your partner to abort this pregnancy? Is it the only solution to this dilemma? If your religion doesn’t support giving birth outside marriage, would abortion be a solution to the problem? What is the position of your religion on abortion?

When it comes to abortion, it is a decision that no one can make for you. No one can force you into doing it against your will. They can talk you out of it or into it, but in the end, it is all up to you to say ‘I will” or “I won’t”. Other fears are likely to arise, like fearing to lose your partner, if you don’t succumb. Or the fear of being a single mother, or even what might happen to your career since you are still in school.

It is healthy at this point that the two of you have a talk. You need to think through the several options available as you make a decision. Express your fears of abortion to your partner, because not only will you be getting rid of the pregnancy but it could have adverse effects for you as well. You may never forgive yourself for doing it and it could affect your health. It is important to talk to a counsellor as well. Counselling is part of the support you need to go through this. In the meantime, you need to pay attention to prenatal care for you and the un born child. Sometimes stressful situations like this may affect your pregnancy.

Your choice should be what is best for you and the unborn child even if you have to deal with some conflict in the process. All the best.
Aunt Liz is a professional counsellor

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