Oh, how I miss my darling mother
May 08, 2009
There are five things that still succeed in squeezing tears from my old dry masculine eyes. I spent last Tuesday night arriving at this number. Arsenal had just been humiliated and I am still looking for a Man U virgin to revenge on. But unfortunately, th
There are five things that still succeed in squeezing tears from my old dry masculine eyes. I spent last Tuesday night arriving at this number. Arsenal had just been humiliated and I am still looking for a Man U virgin to revenge on. But unfortunately, there are none in Kampala! (Get in touch if you are)
But anyway, the topmost cause of my tears is Mothers’ Day, the day I wish my mother was still alive so that I could spoil her. She died before I had the means to accumulate corporate tax arrears like Sudhir and Basajjabalaba and so, missed out on the money the Government would have occasionally forgiven me.
The second is Arsenal which is beginning to remind me of NRM’s corruption crusade; when you expect it to bite, it shows toothless gums and when you don’t even care if it bites at all, it actually bites.
The third is patriotism. Whenever I travel outside this country and see what development is, how systems work, how a citizen is the king and how easy it is for them to be patriotic without needing lessons, my patriotic tears flow. I return home to be charged sh500,000 for parking badly when Sudhir walks off with 26b shillings forgiven.
The fourth and fifth causes will remain under lock to cater for people I have told lies about crying because I miss them.
Today, my mind is occupied by teary thoughts which include the debate to divorce Wenger and Monday’s Mothers’ Day. Many things happen to my life that make me wonder why God expects me to believe rumours of his love. But whenever I think of my mother, I nod my head in belief. She is the topmost reason why I believe in God. Without any soliciting, He allowed me to be born of a very rare specie of a woman, whose breast has made it possible for many lovers to read this column. She was very intelligent, innovative, exemplary and knew how to get around this world like a fish in the ocean. She and I were very tight! When I was in Japan, I was literally recording all events to come and narrate to her my day-to-day experiences and I was sure both of us would never have minded how long that was going to take us. That is around the time God became jealous of me and whisked her away to sit at his right hand.
That sort of gave me an opportunity to imagine heaven and earth in things I would have done for my mum now that I have the means. I guess I don’t have limits because even if I zeroed on the European Championship trophy, mum is in a place privileged enough to know that if I ever got one, I would not hesitate to hand it over.
This brings me to you who have mothers and are busy looking elsewhere. It is saddening to visualise a successful person whose mum cannot access the basic needs of life, proper health care and general happiness. You buy girlfriends expensive phones and continue to narrate stories to your mothers about the credit crunch. Time for becoming a maternal orphan will come and you will start regretting why you did not buy her the present she wanted. Don’t play like Arsenal imagining that there is no hurry in the search for trophies; time will come when you will wish you devoted more energies to winning. You have your mother now, do unto them what you will not regret when time for them comes to pass on.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
But anyway, the topmost cause of my tears is Mothers’ Day, the day I wish my mother was still alive so that I could spoil her. She died before I had the means to accumulate corporate tax arrears like Sudhir and Basajjabalaba and so, missed out on the money the Government would have occasionally forgiven me.
The second is Arsenal which is beginning to remind me of NRM’s corruption crusade; when you expect it to bite, it shows toothless gums and when you don’t even care if it bites at all, it actually bites.
The third is patriotism. Whenever I travel outside this country and see what development is, how systems work, how a citizen is the king and how easy it is for them to be patriotic without needing lessons, my patriotic tears flow. I return home to be charged sh500,000 for parking badly when Sudhir walks off with 26b shillings forgiven.
The fourth and fifth causes will remain under lock to cater for people I have told lies about crying because I miss them.
Today, my mind is occupied by teary thoughts which include the debate to divorce Wenger and Monday’s Mothers’ Day. Many things happen to my life that make me wonder why God expects me to believe rumours of his love. But whenever I think of my mother, I nod my head in belief. She is the topmost reason why I believe in God. Without any soliciting, He allowed me to be born of a very rare specie of a woman, whose breast has made it possible for many lovers to read this column. She was very intelligent, innovative, exemplary and knew how to get around this world like a fish in the ocean. She and I were very tight! When I was in Japan, I was literally recording all events to come and narrate to her my day-to-day experiences and I was sure both of us would never have minded how long that was going to take us. That is around the time God became jealous of me and whisked her away to sit at his right hand.
That sort of gave me an opportunity to imagine heaven and earth in things I would have done for my mum now that I have the means. I guess I don’t have limits because even if I zeroed on the European Championship trophy, mum is in a place privileged enough to know that if I ever got one, I would not hesitate to hand it over.
This brings me to you who have mothers and are busy looking elsewhere. It is saddening to visualise a successful person whose mum cannot access the basic needs of life, proper health care and general happiness. You buy girlfriends expensive phones and continue to narrate stories to your mothers about the credit crunch. Time for becoming a maternal orphan will come and you will start regretting why you did not buy her the present she wanted. Don’t play like Arsenal imagining that there is no hurry in the search for trophies; time will come when you will wish you devoted more energies to winning. You have your mother now, do unto them what you will not regret when time for them comes to pass on.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.