What wives say about the single woman

Oct 11, 2007

I am always uncomfortable whenever women are around him; unless they are biological sisters. I do not trust any woman with my man. Not even the cousins; men and women are like metals and magnets.

Pidson Kareire talked to a cross-section of married Ugandan women about whether or not they feel threatened by single women being around their husbands. Here are their views:

Grace Tumubweine (Business woman Luwum Street).

I am always uncomfortable whenever women are around him; unless they are biological sisters. I do not trust any woman with my man. Not even the cousins; men and women are like metals and magnets.

They are like ghee and the cat; meat and the dog, you cannot leave them and find them intact. See what is happening in the Big Brother House? It is the reality, look at Richard and Code and what those girls have done to them?

Jennifer Bainemigisha (Nurse and married to a journalist).

Every woman will feel threatened as long as single women make it a routine to hang around her man. Although it is natural for a woman to question her husband’s intentions with a female friend, most people associate it with insecurity.

But, the truth is that some women are like vultures; they cannot be trusted with your husband. What business will they be having with him?

Agatha Kaffoko (Mbarara-based singer)

In the beginning it used to bother me. It was an issue when we were in courtship. When our marriage was young, such women were a threat, but not now. I have been married for 15 years. I do not care about such women. I am used to him. I now have confidence.

Kyokuhirwa Kyaka (Woman MP Isingiro district)

It depends on your man’s personality; if he is loose, you have a reason to worry or be threatened. But if your man is spiritually strong, there is no need to stress yourself.

Really, with my kind of job, if a woman is to be worried, she might die of pressure. Some people, by the nature of their jobs, are surrounded by women, but about being with her husband, it does not mean the women are up to something.

Susan Muwonge(Teacher and Rally Driver)

Eight years in marriage means a lot. I have studied him very well and have learnt to trust him. If I am to worry about his female friends, I will lose weight. They say bad habits die hard. If he is loose, I cannot do much to stop him.

Madam G (Upcoming singer and employee of Uganda Revenue Authority).

It takes confidence to trust. At the back of my mind there is trust. I would mind if a woman was in a compromising situation with my husband. However, I do trust him so much.

Besides, if I was to get worried, I would not do anything because the nature of his work necessitates him to be with many people including women. I aim at mutual respect, shared responsibility and love.

Jacqueline Karugaba (Accountant, Uganda Micro-Finance).

Of course, I feel threatened if he hangs out with single women. I cannot be 100% sure of what is happening between him and those women.

You see, some men cheat out of fun; others are habitual cheats while the rest are tempted. So, it is such possibilities that make me uncomfortable.

Juliet Nambuya (Employee of Uganda Export Promotions)

It depends on the man in question. There are men who hang out with female friends genuinely, while others aim at cheating on their partners. But, I think by the time you get married, you should be able to detect and know his or her habits. It does not help you to worry about the obvious.

Carol Mirembe( Business woman, Kampala Road).

If I know the woman there is no problem, but if I am not used to her, she will become a big threat. They say that a pit you know cannot fracture your legs.

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