You Ask Us
Nov 09, 2007
<b>Dear aunt,<br>I am a man aged 25 years and I would love to have a girlfriend. However, feelings of inferiority make this difficult for me. I fear to approach ladies and tell them how I feel. I have close friends of the opposite sex whom I am attracted to them yet I fear to tell them because I fe
Dear aunt,
I am a man aged 25 years and I would love to have a girlfriend. However, feelings of inferiority make this difficult for me. I fear to approach ladies and tell them how I feel. I have close friends of the opposite sex whom I am attracted to them yet I fear to tell them because I fear to lose the friendship. I need your help.
D.J
Dear D.J,
Inferiority complex is a problem many men face. The root of this inferior feeling is low self-esteem. You need help with skills on how to express your feelings constructively and look at yourself positively. Being attracted to the opposite sex is not a crime, it is normal. Your problem might not be so much to do with the fear of the ladies, but the fear of rejection especially the imagination of having your love proposal turned down. On the other hand, ladies love to have a man who expresses his feelings boldly. You should also understand that a ‘no’ from a lady does not necessarily mean you are not good enough. It might mean she is not ready for a relationship or maybe seeing somebody else. I recommend a face-to-face session with a professional counsellor to help you improve your interaction with the opposite sex.
Dear aunt,
I am 24 years old and my guy is getting to my nerves. He makes a big deal over small things and gets angry for weeks, until I apologise even when I am not guilty. This guy treats me like he is doing me a favour by being with me. This is very hurting. Does he really care?
C.N
Dear C.N,
Anger is a normal emotion, but sometimes it can be misused in a relationship. Your boyfriend’s reaction might also be an indication of a deeper psychological problem on his part. Some men use intense anger to have their way or gain control over the opposite sex. Have you ever talked to him about it? Your apologies might be encouraging him to use anger as a weapon against you.
A relationship benefits you mutually and none of you is doing the other a favour. Express your feelings assertively by letting him know how his perpetual anger makes you feel. For better results, begin your sentences with ‘I’ and not ‘you’. Say ‘I feel uncomfortable whenever you brood over issues for long…’ and not ‘You always brood over issues…’ Differences in a relationship provide a golden opportunity for you to understand each other. Handle the differences constructively.
I am a man aged 25 years and I would love to have a girlfriend. However, feelings of inferiority make this difficult for me. I fear to approach ladies and tell them how I feel. I have close friends of the opposite sex whom I am attracted to them yet I fear to tell them because I fear to lose the friendship. I need your help.
D.J
Dear D.J,
Inferiority complex is a problem many men face. The root of this inferior feeling is low self-esteem. You need help with skills on how to express your feelings constructively and look at yourself positively. Being attracted to the opposite sex is not a crime, it is normal. Your problem might not be so much to do with the fear of the ladies, but the fear of rejection especially the imagination of having your love proposal turned down. On the other hand, ladies love to have a man who expresses his feelings boldly. You should also understand that a ‘no’ from a lady does not necessarily mean you are not good enough. It might mean she is not ready for a relationship or maybe seeing somebody else. I recommend a face-to-face session with a professional counsellor to help you improve your interaction with the opposite sex.
Dear aunt,
I am 24 years old and my guy is getting to my nerves. He makes a big deal over small things and gets angry for weeks, until I apologise even when I am not guilty. This guy treats me like he is doing me a favour by being with me. This is very hurting. Does he really care?
C.N
Dear C.N,
Anger is a normal emotion, but sometimes it can be misused in a relationship. Your boyfriend’s reaction might also be an indication of a deeper psychological problem on his part. Some men use intense anger to have their way or gain control over the opposite sex. Have you ever talked to him about it? Your apologies might be encouraging him to use anger as a weapon against you.
A relationship benefits you mutually and none of you is doing the other a favour. Express your feelings assertively by letting him know how his perpetual anger makes you feel. For better results, begin your sentences with ‘I’ and not ‘you’. Say ‘I feel uncomfortable whenever you brood over issues for long…’ and not ‘You always brood over issues…’ Differences in a relationship provide a golden opportunity for you to understand each other. Handle the differences constructively.