You Ask Us
Feb 15, 2008
<b>Dear aunt, <br>I have been in relationship with a lady for two- and-a-half years. She is lovely, caring and faithful. She studied up to senior four and went for professional training in nursing.
Dear aunt,
I have been in relationship with a lady for two- and-a-half years. She is lovely, caring and faithful. She studied up to senior four and went for professional training in nursing. She works as a nursing aide. But since her performance at senior four was poor, I don’t think she can be pushed further. This lady is two years older than me and the way she walks discourages me. In addition, I am not ready for a child right now. I am in my third year at university and I need an educated lady. Please help.
M.M
Dear M.M,
It seems, from what you have shared, that you have lost feelings for this lady. Your reference to her as ‘this lady’ shows you have ended the relationship emotionally. You, however, find it difficult to pull out of the relationship because, in spite of her weaknesses, she is lovely, caring and faithful. Have you thought about the qualities that attracted you to her? Has she lost them or is it your taste and standards that have changed? You are dealing with a human being who cannot be perfect and penalising qualities she has no control over might be harsh. Make up your mind on the kind of woman you want and keep it mind that an ideal woman has more than educational qualifications. Education is good; but character is better.
Dear aunt,
I am aged 23 and I live with my sister and her husband. I have a diploma in Secretarial Studies. After graduation my sister’s husband got me a job in his company. After six months, my sister’s husband, who is the managing director, developed interest in me. I turned down his love proposal because I didn’t want to break my sister’s marriage. He has however, refused to give up. His behaviour hurts me and I cry most of the time. I have no other job and I don’t have parents. Life is quite hard. Should I tell my sister?
K.Y
Dear K.Y,
It must be hurting to be pestered for love by a man you view as a father figure. I would like to encourage you not to despair; it is not yet a hopeless situation. Something can be done but you need to gather strength to face the situation. You need to realise that telling your sister about this would have an effect on your job, her marriage and your relationship with the family. Communicating your feelings assertively to your sister’s husband is one way of dealing with it. Have you ever explained to him how his proposal makes you feel? It might be quite challenging to openly communicate your position, but consider that giving in to him is likely to present worse challenges. Consider seeing a professional counsellor to give you emotional support. Counselling will also help you with communication and decision making skills in this crucial matter.
Send your questions to intimate@newvision.co.ug
I have been in relationship with a lady for two- and-a-half years. She is lovely, caring and faithful. She studied up to senior four and went for professional training in nursing. She works as a nursing aide. But since her performance at senior four was poor, I don’t think she can be pushed further. This lady is two years older than me and the way she walks discourages me. In addition, I am not ready for a child right now. I am in my third year at university and I need an educated lady. Please help.
M.M
Dear M.M,
It seems, from what you have shared, that you have lost feelings for this lady. Your reference to her as ‘this lady’ shows you have ended the relationship emotionally. You, however, find it difficult to pull out of the relationship because, in spite of her weaknesses, she is lovely, caring and faithful. Have you thought about the qualities that attracted you to her? Has she lost them or is it your taste and standards that have changed? You are dealing with a human being who cannot be perfect and penalising qualities she has no control over might be harsh. Make up your mind on the kind of woman you want and keep it mind that an ideal woman has more than educational qualifications. Education is good; but character is better.
Dear aunt,
I am aged 23 and I live with my sister and her husband. I have a diploma in Secretarial Studies. After graduation my sister’s husband got me a job in his company. After six months, my sister’s husband, who is the managing director, developed interest in me. I turned down his love proposal because I didn’t want to break my sister’s marriage. He has however, refused to give up. His behaviour hurts me and I cry most of the time. I have no other job and I don’t have parents. Life is quite hard. Should I tell my sister?
K.Y
Dear K.Y,
It must be hurting to be pestered for love by a man you view as a father figure. I would like to encourage you not to despair; it is not yet a hopeless situation. Something can be done but you need to gather strength to face the situation. You need to realise that telling your sister about this would have an effect on your job, her marriage and your relationship with the family. Communicating your feelings assertively to your sister’s husband is one way of dealing with it. Have you ever explained to him how his proposal makes you feel? It might be quite challenging to openly communicate your position, but consider that giving in to him is likely to present worse challenges. Consider seeing a professional counsellor to give you emotional support. Counselling will also help you with communication and decision making skills in this crucial matter.
Send your questions to intimate@newvision.co.ug