To look or not to look
Feb 22, 2008
ONE of my clients has a problem with her boyfriend. The hapless fellow is always distracted by other women and, even in her presence, his eyes pop out like M7’s when he is making a serious point.
Hilary Bainemigisha
ONE of my clients has a problem with her boyfriend. The hapless fellow is always distracted by other women and, even in her presence, his eyes pop out like M7’s when he is making a serious point.
“He (the boyfriend – not M7) actually ogles until his trouser embarrasses him,†she complained.
And like Pastor Kakande who marries another wife and still professes belief in monogamy, this guy does not find any fault with this behaviour because it doesn’t result in any follow up.
Generally men are visual creatures when it comes to arousal and mating.
It is a natural instinct designed to keep the human race from extinction. Women also look but they don’t ogle. Naturalists have argued that when a woman glances at you, her brain records everything and she is able to study it later in detail without looking at you.
Men don’t have such integrated brains and have to look, interpret and conclude before the brain can store the information.
Scientists have discovered that looking at an admirable pair of boobs has health advantages for men per time they look. But in reality, no lover wants to notice that someone else is arousing their partners. And this is the pain many women have to put up with.
For most men, sex is penetration and when that hasn’t happened, they have not sinned, or cheated on anyone. Thus, a married man who shares love words with another woman, has reached the fondling stage or even kissed her but not had sex yet, will think he has not cheated on anybody. How can you tell such a character that ogling someone else is bad?
Women are emotional. Most look for security and durability in relationships. Any sign, be it a long hearty laugh or extraordinary compliment to another woman can be a sign of trouble. And with their sixth sense, a rat will be smelled.
Therefore, guys, mind your Beloved’s feelings. If you must look at other flowers, do so when she is not around. Or, if she is around, control your facial expression. If you are caught enjoying what you see, compliment the other girl’s dress or shoes and not her attributes like her face and figure.
But what women should also understand is that the trousers should not be a measure of interest because they can misbehave without serious cause.
There are times mine (I mean trousers) run berserk when I am approaching the altar for Holy Communion! So what crime would I plead to? Being aroused by the priest?
When you want to measure interest, look at the face. The trouser will give you wrong answers.
ONE of my clients has a problem with her boyfriend. The hapless fellow is always distracted by other women and, even in her presence, his eyes pop out like M7’s when he is making a serious point.
“He (the boyfriend – not M7) actually ogles until his trouser embarrasses him,†she complained.
And like Pastor Kakande who marries another wife and still professes belief in monogamy, this guy does not find any fault with this behaviour because it doesn’t result in any follow up.
Generally men are visual creatures when it comes to arousal and mating.
It is a natural instinct designed to keep the human race from extinction. Women also look but they don’t ogle. Naturalists have argued that when a woman glances at you, her brain records everything and she is able to study it later in detail without looking at you.
Men don’t have such integrated brains and have to look, interpret and conclude before the brain can store the information.
Scientists have discovered that looking at an admirable pair of boobs has health advantages for men per time they look. But in reality, no lover wants to notice that someone else is arousing their partners. And this is the pain many women have to put up with.
For most men, sex is penetration and when that hasn’t happened, they have not sinned, or cheated on anyone. Thus, a married man who shares love words with another woman, has reached the fondling stage or even kissed her but not had sex yet, will think he has not cheated on anybody. How can you tell such a character that ogling someone else is bad?
Women are emotional. Most look for security and durability in relationships. Any sign, be it a long hearty laugh or extraordinary compliment to another woman can be a sign of trouble. And with their sixth sense, a rat will be smelled.
Therefore, guys, mind your Beloved’s feelings. If you must look at other flowers, do so when she is not around. Or, if she is around, control your facial expression. If you are caught enjoying what you see, compliment the other girl’s dress or shoes and not her attributes like her face and figure.
But what women should also understand is that the trousers should not be a measure of interest because they can misbehave without serious cause.
There are times mine (I mean trousers) run berserk when I am approaching the altar for Holy Communion! So what crime would I plead to? Being aroused by the priest?
When you want to measure interest, look at the face. The trouser will give you wrong answers.