Intimate...

Jun 06, 2008

Jessica Eriyo is the Minister of State for Environment and also the Woman MP for Adjumani district. She spoke to REHEMA AANYU.<br><br>How did you meet your husband?<br>I was an MP when I began receiving calls from him.

Jessica Eriyo is the Minister of State for Environment and also the Woman MP for Adjumani district. She spoke to REHEMA AANYU.

How did you meet your husband?
I was an MP when I began receiving calls from him. I had never met him. For two years, he called me and made appointments, which I did not honour. Then one day, he approached me and he told me that he was the guy who had been calling me. We met twice and the third time, I met his family. He made arrangements to meet my parents and we held a powerful introduction ceremony in Adjumani.

When did you discover that he was a newly-wed?
It was immediately after the introduction. Actually, we met two weeks after his wedding. I did not know this and he did not tell me about it.But his wife,

who was pregnant with their third child, raised her concerns. I felt seriously betrayed. He had let all these preparations go on without telling me about his marriage.

What was his explanation?
He said he did not tell me because he feared he would lose me. He told me he loved me and that he was not interested in the other woman. He had even thrown away his wedding ring by the time I met him.

And you believed him?
I got the same story from his friends and family. They said they had marital problems. I learnt that they were not even living together. I thought, ‘why am I so unlucky? Why did this happen to me? Was God using this to teach me a lesson or to know what is going on in other people’s lives so I can become a better legislator?’ I felt helpless and confused.

Couldn’t you walk away?
That was never an option. He had paid my bride price and if I had walked out, my parents would have had to pay back the six cows, two bulls, 15 hoes, spears and arrows plus a number of gifts. Our families were now one. besides, a lot of money was spent. I realised it was pointless for me to walk away.

Were you able to trust him again?
immediately after all this, he opened up. He confided in me and he tells me each and everything. I know where he hangs out. I know a good number of his friends. He is faithful.

What kind of relationship do you have with your co wife?
We are on speaking terms. She knows my number and I know hers. At times when she wants to talk to him and his phone is not available, she calls me. When the kids are not well and he is not around, she calls me for help.

What do your friends think of your
marriage?
Some are happy for me and encourage me, while others never want to be in my shoes. Some simply feel sorry for me. But I am happy.

You are young, beautiful, accomplished. don’t you think you deserved better?
I met this guy when I was in my mid thirties. I had been in love before and I was terribly hurt. Not many men are interested in older women and at my age, what would I have done? I know God lets things happen for a reason and for this reason, I stayed in this relationship. What is important is that he loves me and I love him.

When will you walk down the aisle?
After the introduction we had anticipated that within a year we would be married in church but it is now one and a half years. Legally, he is still married to his first wife. He has not filed for divorce. Likewise she has not filed for divorce. I am hopeful that things will be alright someday and we will be able to wed in church.

Under what circumstances shouldn’t one stay in a relationship?
(takes a deep breath) Under normal circumstances I would not advise anyone to come out of a relationship but in cases where you are mistreated, stressed, your health is at risk, when you are not happy and you do not see any possibility for change, then you should not continue being in that relationship.

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