Deal or no deal: Would you pay your girlfriend’s fees?
Sep 18, 2008
IT is a common perception that most university girls live a lavish lifestyle. Their rooms are littered with the latest electronic gadgets; they put on the trendiest clothes and own expensive phones although few are employed. <br>
By Arthur Baguma
IT is a common perception that most university girls live a lavish lifestyle. Their rooms are littered with the latest electronic gadgets; they put on the trendiest clothes and own expensive phones although few are employed.
But that is not all. Today we add a new twist to the perceptions about campus girls: At least 54.6% of female university students at Makerere are getting money for tuition from their boy friends or lovers, a New Vision survey has revealed.
One hundred female students from Makerere University were asked if they knew of any girl whose tuition fees were being paid by a boyfriend or lover. Out of 97 who responded, 54.6% (53) said they did. Of these 45.3% (24) admitted they knew more than two girls whose fees were paid by boyfriends.
And 54.7% (29) knew at least one girl. The New Vision distributed self-administered questionnaires to girls at Makerere main campus and Makerere University Business School. Most of these live in hostels.
The girls were asked to give reasons why they would or would not let their boyfriends pay the fees. They were also asked if they knew of a friend or colleague whose tuition was paid by a boyfriend. Some of them said they knew more than two.
Interestingly, the survey showed that 71.7% (38) of the respondents had their tuition paid by university graduates. Less than a quarter (13.2%) of the respondents said their boyfriends were diploma-holders.
Even illiterate men and school drop-outs most likely well-to-do businessmen are paying tuition for girlfriends at university. Among the respondents, 9.4% said they knew a friend whose fees were being paid by a primary school dropout or an illiterate.
Lately, there has been a trend in the demands of girls searching for lovers. Most of the females searching for lovers in lonely hearts columns in newspapers want a man who is financially stable and willing to pay their tuition.
The respondents were also asked if they believed their relationships would survive after university. Some of the girls believe the relationship will last after campus and lead to the altar.
From the survey, some of the girls cited the fact that they had already got children with their boyfriends as security that their relationships would last after university.
“We are known to both our families so I believe we are serious and our relationship is meant to be,†wrote one respondent. Another girl said she had introduced the man to the parents and he had her bride price.
However, not all girls believe the relationship will go beyond the last fees payment. “The man is local (sic),†one of the girls said, to justify why she would not continue with the relationship after she completed university.
Some of the respondents said such relationships were about satisfying each partner’s needs — sex for the man and fees plus other needs for the girl. “It is a give-and-take situation and thus short term.â€
“Most of those involved are practising cross-generation sex and it should be discouraged,†one of the respondents wrote.
Some of the girls revealed that actually some of the men paying fees were decades older than these girls and they have families. “The man has a wife and family; he just uses her for sex,†confessed one of the girls who knows a colleague getting fees from a married man and a father of three.
Other revelations are even more astonishing. One young lady who was lucky to get a government scholarship says: “I know of a man paying tuition for his daughter at university yet he is also paying for his girlfriend who is in the same class as the daughter.â€
Why girls believe the relationship will last after university
The couple is engaged
They were introduced to parents on both sides
They have a child or the girl is pregnant
The girl is an orphan and wants to be provided for
The man expects something in return for his money
The love was there even before the fees issue
There is mutual understanding and trust
They have been together for a long time
The men have hope in their girl friends
They love each other and he appears serious.
They have dated for a long time (about three years) and are already considering marriage
The care, love and confidence given to the girl is an assurance that marriage will follow
Why some girls believe the relationship will not last
Men are un-predictable. A man can disappoint you and marry another girl
A relationship involving cross-generation sex cannot last
Such men are not good enough to be husbands
It is a give-and-take relationship
The girl has a real boyfriend; she just uses the other man to get fees
Such a relationship is not based on sincere love
They are both in other relationships
Only one of them might be committed to the relationship
Many of the men are already married
He will behave as if he owns you
The men normally demand re-payment
SUMMARY
Girls who would let their boyfriends or lover pay their university fees
Yes (34%)
No (66%)
Boyfriend is financially able
I hope he will become my husband
He loves me, so he does it out of interest
Reasons for not letting him pay
My parents are able to pay for me.
I believe in God and trust he will provide my needs
It is not my boyfriend’s responsibility; it is my parents’
It becomes hard for you to stand by your decision. He will dictate to you.
Told by the friend (81.1%)
Friends doing it secretly but the respondents had observed it 7%
Future of the relationship
Believe the relationships will go beyond university 62.3%
Not sure it will last 37.7%
IT is a common perception that most university girls live a lavish lifestyle. Their rooms are littered with the latest electronic gadgets; they put on the trendiest clothes and own expensive phones although few are employed.
But that is not all. Today we add a new twist to the perceptions about campus girls: At least 54.6% of female university students at Makerere are getting money for tuition from their boy friends or lovers, a New Vision survey has revealed.
One hundred female students from Makerere University were asked if they knew of any girl whose tuition fees were being paid by a boyfriend or lover. Out of 97 who responded, 54.6% (53) said they did. Of these 45.3% (24) admitted they knew more than two girls whose fees were paid by boyfriends.
And 54.7% (29) knew at least one girl. The New Vision distributed self-administered questionnaires to girls at Makerere main campus and Makerere University Business School. Most of these live in hostels.
The girls were asked to give reasons why they would or would not let their boyfriends pay the fees. They were also asked if they knew of a friend or colleague whose tuition was paid by a boyfriend. Some of them said they knew more than two.
Interestingly, the survey showed that 71.7% (38) of the respondents had their tuition paid by university graduates. Less than a quarter (13.2%) of the respondents said their boyfriends were diploma-holders.
Even illiterate men and school drop-outs most likely well-to-do businessmen are paying tuition for girlfriends at university. Among the respondents, 9.4% said they knew a friend whose fees were being paid by a primary school dropout or an illiterate.
Lately, there has been a trend in the demands of girls searching for lovers. Most of the females searching for lovers in lonely hearts columns in newspapers want a man who is financially stable and willing to pay their tuition.
The respondents were also asked if they believed their relationships would survive after university. Some of the girls believe the relationship will last after campus and lead to the altar.
From the survey, some of the girls cited the fact that they had already got children with their boyfriends as security that their relationships would last after university.
“We are known to both our families so I believe we are serious and our relationship is meant to be,†wrote one respondent. Another girl said she had introduced the man to the parents and he had her bride price.
However, not all girls believe the relationship will go beyond the last fees payment. “The man is local (sic),†one of the girls said, to justify why she would not continue with the relationship after she completed university.
Some of the respondents said such relationships were about satisfying each partner’s needs — sex for the man and fees plus other needs for the girl. “It is a give-and-take situation and thus short term.â€
“Most of those involved are practising cross-generation sex and it should be discouraged,†one of the respondents wrote.
Some of the girls revealed that actually some of the men paying fees were decades older than these girls and they have families. “The man has a wife and family; he just uses her for sex,†confessed one of the girls who knows a colleague getting fees from a married man and a father of three.
Other revelations are even more astonishing. One young lady who was lucky to get a government scholarship says: “I know of a man paying tuition for his daughter at university yet he is also paying for his girlfriend who is in the same class as the daughter.â€
Why girls believe the relationship will last after university
The couple is engaged
They were introduced to parents on both sides
They have a child or the girl is pregnant
The girl is an orphan and wants to be provided for
The man expects something in return for his money
The love was there even before the fees issue
There is mutual understanding and trust
They have been together for a long time
The men have hope in their girl friends
They love each other and he appears serious.
They have dated for a long time (about three years) and are already considering marriage
The care, love and confidence given to the girl is an assurance that marriage will follow
Why some girls believe the relationship will not last
Men are un-predictable. A man can disappoint you and marry another girl
A relationship involving cross-generation sex cannot last
Such men are not good enough to be husbands
It is a give-and-take relationship
The girl has a real boyfriend; she just uses the other man to get fees
Such a relationship is not based on sincere love
They are both in other relationships
Only one of them might be committed to the relationship
Many of the men are already married
He will behave as if he owns you
The men normally demand re-payment
SUMMARY
Girls who would let their boyfriends or lover pay their university fees
Yes (34%)
No (66%)
Boyfriend is financially able
I hope he will become my husband
He loves me, so he does it out of interest
Reasons for not letting him pay
My parents are able to pay for me.
I believe in God and trust he will provide my needs
It is not my boyfriend’s responsibility; it is my parents’
It becomes hard for you to stand by your decision. He will dictate to you.
Told by the friend (81.1%)
Friends doing it secretly but the respondents had observed it 7%
Future of the relationship
Believe the relationships will go beyond university 62.3%
Not sure it will last 37.7%