You Ask Us
Apr 13, 2007
<b>I have more girls as friends</b><br><br><b>Dear aunt,<br>I am a 24-year-old graduate. My worry is that I have more girls as friends than fellow men. I was recently puzzled when I invited those I considered to be my friends and all were girls! I get easily attracted to women for friendship. Am
I have more girls as friends
Dear aunt,
I am a 24-year-old graduate. My worry is that I have more girls as friends than fellow men. I was recently puzzled when I invited those I considered to be my friends and all were girls! I get easily attracted to women for friendship. Am I normal? I rarely share anything with men socially apart from academic and career issues. The good thing is that I don’t relate with ladies to exploit them sexually. In fact, I don’t even have a girlfriend yet. I am a committed born-again Christian. Please help.
BM
There is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex. However, it seems to me from the case you have presented that you derive great emotional fulfillment from your relationship with ladies. A deep obsession with the opposite sex is not a problem but might be an indicator of a problem perhaps rooted in your early childhood. How well did you relate with your mother during your early years? Insufficient mother attention during those crucial years might compel you to compensate for it by seeking female attention. Although you mention that you do not exploit the girls sexually, your relationship with them helps you meet deep-rooted emotional needs. Even as a born- again Christian, you are a normal human with emotional needs. A face- to- face session with a professional counselor, would help you deal with it better.
She wants me to convert to Islam
Dear aunt,
I am a Senior Six student aged 20. I fell in love with a Muslim lady, but she has always requested me to convert to Islam. As much as I deeply love her, I look at this request as impossible. But I also imagine that my failure to convert puts me at a risk of losing her to a Muslim man. What should I do?
Frank
Dear Frank,
Your situation is challenging given the love you have for this lady. Love often demands compromise and sacrifice between two parties. Does this lady love you as much? Conversion to another faith should be done out of conviction not for convenience of a relationship. What would happen if you fell out of this relationship and found yourself in love with a Christian lady? Would you reconvert to Christianity? A relationship requires time to grow. Do you have sufficient time to invest in this relationship given that you are still in school? Keep in mind also that an intimate relationship with the opposite sex is not just fun, it is a responsibility. Are you ready for that responsibility? Think again.
Send your questions to
intimate@newvision.co.ug Or
P.O. BOX 9815, Kampala
Dear aunt,
I am a 24-year-old graduate. My worry is that I have more girls as friends than fellow men. I was recently puzzled when I invited those I considered to be my friends and all were girls! I get easily attracted to women for friendship. Am I normal? I rarely share anything with men socially apart from academic and career issues. The good thing is that I don’t relate with ladies to exploit them sexually. In fact, I don’t even have a girlfriend yet. I am a committed born-again Christian. Please help.
BM
There is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex. However, it seems to me from the case you have presented that you derive great emotional fulfillment from your relationship with ladies. A deep obsession with the opposite sex is not a problem but might be an indicator of a problem perhaps rooted in your early childhood. How well did you relate with your mother during your early years? Insufficient mother attention during those crucial years might compel you to compensate for it by seeking female attention. Although you mention that you do not exploit the girls sexually, your relationship with them helps you meet deep-rooted emotional needs. Even as a born- again Christian, you are a normal human with emotional needs. A face- to- face session with a professional counselor, would help you deal with it better.
She wants me to convert to Islam
Dear aunt,
I am a Senior Six student aged 20. I fell in love with a Muslim lady, but she has always requested me to convert to Islam. As much as I deeply love her, I look at this request as impossible. But I also imagine that my failure to convert puts me at a risk of losing her to a Muslim man. What should I do?
Frank
Dear Frank,
Your situation is challenging given the love you have for this lady. Love often demands compromise and sacrifice between two parties. Does this lady love you as much? Conversion to another faith should be done out of conviction not for convenience of a relationship. What would happen if you fell out of this relationship and found yourself in love with a Christian lady? Would you reconvert to Christianity? A relationship requires time to grow. Do you have sufficient time to invest in this relationship given that you are still in school? Keep in mind also that an intimate relationship with the opposite sex is not just fun, it is a responsibility. Are you ready for that responsibility? Think again.
Send your questions to
intimate@newvision.co.ug Or
P.O. BOX 9815, Kampala