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May 11, 2007

<b>I hate my breasts<br><br>Dear aunt,<br>I am a woman of 27 and a mother of one. I am quite uncomfortable with my breasts because they are very big and flabby. For that reasons my husband hates them and calls them ‘chapattis’. I am very disappointed with my breasts because they put off my hu

I hate my breasts

Dear aunt,
I am a woman of 27 and a mother of one. I am quite uncomfortable with my breasts because they are very big and flabby. For that reasons my husband hates them and calls them ‘chapattis’. I am very disappointed with my breasts because they put off my husband. I am worried that I am going to lose this man. Please help me.

Worried MD


Dear Worried MD,
Your problem seems to be deeper than what you have presented. The discomfort you have with your breasts could be a sign of low self-esteem. It seems your body makes you feel inferior and insecure in marriage. When your husband married you, there are a lot of qualities that attracted him and the size of your breasts cannot change those qualities.

Since marriage relationship does not begin or end with the breasts, you cannot sustain marriage by keeping your breasts pointed and succulent. As a woman, your beauty should be a jewel that flows from within rather than mere physical attributes that wane with age.

Nobody (including your husband) can be comfortable with your body if you are not comfortable with it. Your husband’s comments might be pulling you down because you do not have a strong foundation of self-worth. Remember, your beauty does not lie in your breasts. Nobody remains 21 forever and age is bound to have its toll on you. There are changes that are bound to occur as a result of child-bearing or age and this should not affect your self-image. A face-to-face session with a professional counsellor would help deal with self-esteem issues.

I still love her

Dear aunt,
I am a second-year student at university aged 22. I have loved only one lady. Last year, my girlfriend conceived by another man and she now has a son. I also hooked up with another girl at university this year. Recently, we had some misunderstandings because she went out with another guy. Now she does not want to talk to me. In spite of this, I still love her deeply. I am confused.
C.K.


Dear C.K.,
It must be frustrating to have relationships where the girls are always cheating on you. Have you ever asked yourself where you go wrong? Remember, even the worst of all relationships has something for you to learn if you open your eyes.

It seems your current girlfriend has another affair. In spite of the feelings you have for her, you need to prepare yourself emotionally just in case things do not work out. Will you break up and hook up with another girl? Moving from one relationship to another does not help unless you establish what the problem is. Is it about the kind of girls you meet, your relationship skills, or a few things you take for granted? Since a good relationship begins with you, you need some soul searching before you move on.

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