‘Women have raped me several times’
Jan 25, 2006
<br>Let me talk about rape! Don’t grab your subjudice regulations, Hon. Nsaba Butuuro, because it has nothing to do with Kyakuwa and her State House shelter.
Let me talk about rape! Don’t grab your subjudice regulations, Hon. Nsaba Butuuro, because it has nothing to do with Kyakuwa and her State House shelter.
I want to talk for those victims society has ignored albeit the suffering and torture all rape victims endure: The men, who have been raped by women and cannot get redress in the courts of this land of freedom. None of the campaign manifestos gives it even a sentence.
Why laugh? You mean men cannot be raped? Look at me – I have been raped several times in my life and if I had my justice, I would be living on State House resources for the rest of my life! I have waited for Kuteesa to ‘change my environment’ so that I can talk, but since she might never look in my direction, let me talk.
Rape is forced sex – force may be reasonable (like the one Bugingo used on Rubaramira) or unreasonable (like the one Ofwono used on a robber at Kampala Parents). But as long as sex is played without the consent of the victim, it must be recorded as rape.
Look at Bob. His boss happened to be female and she liked the way his chest was manufactured. But he did not know this when he was accompanying her to a seminar in Jinja. So, when she invited him to her room, he walked into the trap like a sheep heading for slaughter. And when a boss, in a transparent night dress, demands that you show cause why you should not be sacked, you are supposed to know what to do. But since Bob did not want sex then, or with her, he looked at his job and at the boss and at his job again and decided that for the sake of his family (especially his wife) he had to keep his job. He reluctantly kept his job. He was raped twice that night.
Another example is of husbands among whom I am. You arrive home late and your wife doesn’t believe your story about the African Cup of Nations. She demands that you prove beyond reasonable doubt that you have not aired views in the wrong forum. You will be lucky if she stops at a thorough inspection of certain body parts. Others demand that the very parts prove it by their works.
If sleep was the next on the agenda, you will have been forced to jump the queue and that is marital rape in flesh. And the Domestic Relations Bill (Oh, where on earth did it go?) is silent about marital rape.
Case three: Women know how to blackmail. “If you don’t tickle me where I want, I will report you for… (it could be as small as tearing a campaign poster or as big as cheating on your wife).
Because I don’t want my wife to know that I am registered twice as a voter, I may succumb to my wife’s friend in order to keep the information classified.
If you don’t believe that a woman forcing herself on a man can be a traumatic event, wait till you find your house girl conducting it on your son. (I will report you for stealing sugar – unless…)
Why is rape only wrong when it is committed by a man? Why does the world turn the other cheek when men are defiled? Statutory rapes of males by females are not prosecuted or even reported because it is assumed that because the guy managed to get an erection (albeit under duress), he consented.
That is the biggest joke after Bwanika’s candidature for presidency. Have you never heard of such a thing as an involuntary erection?
Sex under pressure/coercion is always a bad thing regardless of who does it.
Julie made me laugh the other day, on this very topic, she said men are supposed to always want sex anytime, with everybody and everything and, therefore, can never be forced to do it against their will.
I will return when I eventually stop myself from laughing.
Ends
I want to talk for those victims society has ignored albeit the suffering and torture all rape victims endure: The men, who have been raped by women and cannot get redress in the courts of this land of freedom. None of the campaign manifestos gives it even a sentence.
Why laugh? You mean men cannot be raped? Look at me – I have been raped several times in my life and if I had my justice, I would be living on State House resources for the rest of my life! I have waited for Kuteesa to ‘change my environment’ so that I can talk, but since she might never look in my direction, let me talk.
Rape is forced sex – force may be reasonable (like the one Bugingo used on Rubaramira) or unreasonable (like the one Ofwono used on a robber at Kampala Parents). But as long as sex is played without the consent of the victim, it must be recorded as rape.
Look at Bob. His boss happened to be female and she liked the way his chest was manufactured. But he did not know this when he was accompanying her to a seminar in Jinja. So, when she invited him to her room, he walked into the trap like a sheep heading for slaughter. And when a boss, in a transparent night dress, demands that you show cause why you should not be sacked, you are supposed to know what to do. But since Bob did not want sex then, or with her, he looked at his job and at the boss and at his job again and decided that for the sake of his family (especially his wife) he had to keep his job. He reluctantly kept his job. He was raped twice that night.
Another example is of husbands among whom I am. You arrive home late and your wife doesn’t believe your story about the African Cup of Nations. She demands that you prove beyond reasonable doubt that you have not aired views in the wrong forum. You will be lucky if she stops at a thorough inspection of certain body parts. Others demand that the very parts prove it by their works.
If sleep was the next on the agenda, you will have been forced to jump the queue and that is marital rape in flesh. And the Domestic Relations Bill (Oh, where on earth did it go?) is silent about marital rape.
Case three: Women know how to blackmail. “If you don’t tickle me where I want, I will report you for… (it could be as small as tearing a campaign poster or as big as cheating on your wife).
Because I don’t want my wife to know that I am registered twice as a voter, I may succumb to my wife’s friend in order to keep the information classified.
If you don’t believe that a woman forcing herself on a man can be a traumatic event, wait till you find your house girl conducting it on your son. (I will report you for stealing sugar – unless…)
Why is rape only wrong when it is committed by a man? Why does the world turn the other cheek when men are defiled? Statutory rapes of males by females are not prosecuted or even reported because it is assumed that because the guy managed to get an erection (albeit under duress), he consented.
That is the biggest joke after Bwanika’s candidature for presidency. Have you never heard of such a thing as an involuntary erection?
Sex under pressure/coercion is always a bad thing regardless of who does it.
Julie made me laugh the other day, on this very topic, she said men are supposed to always want sex anytime, with everybody and everything and, therefore, can never be forced to do it against their will.
I will return when I eventually stop myself from laughing.
Ends