All ye freshers, clip your tails and style up
Sep 11, 2011
TO all fresh men and women, I am writing just to deliver a word of hello, and perhaps some advice. I know you do not like the name Fresher, but do you have a choice? That name sticks like your shadow until you leave First Year.
By Denis Kagino
TO all fresh men and women, I am writing just to deliver a word of hello, and perhaps some advice. I know you do not like the name Fresher, but do you have a choice? That name sticks like your shadow until you leave First Year.
It is just another academic stage, really, so relax. Besides, you are really fresh - in everything: fresh from high school, and still with that innocence of village belles and lads. For many, joining campus was your first time from upcountry to Kampala.
I have been carrying out a thorough diagnosis of all fresh men and women (you’re no longer boys and girls), and found them to suffer from two virulent diseases: ignorance and naivety. It’s why I chose to give you some therapy herein.
First things first: your mindsets are still influenced by memories of your high school experiences. The other day a fresher, having had lectures for a few hours, asked why the bell for the midmorning break was not going off. A bell on campus? There are no time keepers to remind you of when to attend lectures.
You are expected to be mature enough to have self-drive, as there’s no master-on-duty or prefect to hound you. There’s no preps either – you are supposed to know by yourself whether you know a certain topic well enough to do any assignment on it (the assignments are usually abrupt).
Also, do not expect to find dormitories at campus; we instead have halls. You either rent outside or put up in a hall of residence. So you might want to adjust your vocabulary from Dorm X to Lumumba Hall, University Hall, the like.
It is just a few days after bazaar, and you are probably already broke having overspent your upkeep at the bazaar, not with all the rural-urban excitement. Now, let’s hope tuition is not part of what you’re looking at as fallback position. And, there is no visitation day, so deal with it.
Your teachers probably painted the wrong picture of campus. Don’t think it’s a bed of roses where you are at liberty not to attend lectures and enjoy life to the fullest. It won’t be long before you break down under the burden of coursework. And, there are missed calls, sorry… retakes, waiting to be answered. Watch out. And, there are sugar daddies and corporate boys out there waiting to capitalise on your ignorance.
They will take you out, buy you booze till you are unconscious, and then have live sex with you. Remember, AIDS is very much alive, and it kills. There are also unwanted pregnancies. So, keep your head up my brother and sister.
I remain yours truly, Me, Myself and I.
TO all fresh men and women, I am writing just to deliver a word of hello, and perhaps some advice. I know you do not like the name Fresher, but do you have a choice? That name sticks like your shadow until you leave First Year.
It is just another academic stage, really, so relax. Besides, you are really fresh - in everything: fresh from high school, and still with that innocence of village belles and lads. For many, joining campus was your first time from upcountry to Kampala.
I have been carrying out a thorough diagnosis of all fresh men and women (you’re no longer boys and girls), and found them to suffer from two virulent diseases: ignorance and naivety. It’s why I chose to give you some therapy herein.
First things first: your mindsets are still influenced by memories of your high school experiences. The other day a fresher, having had lectures for a few hours, asked why the bell for the midmorning break was not going off. A bell on campus? There are no time keepers to remind you of when to attend lectures.
You are expected to be mature enough to have self-drive, as there’s no master-on-duty or prefect to hound you. There’s no preps either – you are supposed to know by yourself whether you know a certain topic well enough to do any assignment on it (the assignments are usually abrupt).
Also, do not expect to find dormitories at campus; we instead have halls. You either rent outside or put up in a hall of residence. So you might want to adjust your vocabulary from Dorm X to Lumumba Hall, University Hall, the like.
It is just a few days after bazaar, and you are probably already broke having overspent your upkeep at the bazaar, not with all the rural-urban excitement. Now, let’s hope tuition is not part of what you’re looking at as fallback position. And, there is no visitation day, so deal with it.
Your teachers probably painted the wrong picture of campus. Don’t think it’s a bed of roses where you are at liberty not to attend lectures and enjoy life to the fullest. It won’t be long before you break down under the burden of coursework. And, there are missed calls, sorry… retakes, waiting to be answered. Watch out. And, there are sugar daddies and corporate boys out there waiting to capitalise on your ignorance.
They will take you out, buy you booze till you are unconscious, and then have live sex with you. Remember, AIDS is very much alive, and it kills. There are also unwanted pregnancies. So, keep your head up my brother and sister.
I remain yours truly, Me, Myself and I.