What if there were no campaigns?

One recent Saturday evening I was almost home, when traffic stalled for some reason. Usually there is no major problem around our area, so I knew something very strange had happened. Sure enough, when I got close enough I saw this truck parked very badly in the narrow road. It had loudspeakers playing some horrible music and lots of guys on top trying to dance.

The truck was full of posters of somebody vying for the Nakawa Member of Parliament seat, and guys busy sipping on sachets of white stuff. In spite of the very loud music, they all looked bored. Which got me thinking, will they even bother to vote? If they do, will they vote for the candidate they are making all that noise for?

I suppose that candidate hired those guys to let us, the voters, know that he is a candidate and hopefully vote for him. But watching bored, drunk guys shouting his name is not going to make me vote for him. And blocking my way home just made it worse for him.

I doubt if anybody in that small trading centre near my home was impressed, but that candidate probably spent quite a bit of money to hire those noisy blokes. Sometime back an MP candidate was quoted as saying that he spent sh30m a day on campaigns; basically to hire bored, sachets-sipping guys to shout his name. In addition to hiring all the boda boda guys in the village to make even more noise.

In Uganda, politicians think that more noise you make the better your chances of winning an election. Which is moot, of course.

The rallies are not much better than those bored guys on trucks; that sh30m will go into hiring more bored guys and buying them more sachets of questionable stuff so that they can stand in the sun or rain and shout "our man". And probably to fight off any other bored guys paid for by the opponent. At the end they will all go home to sleep, too tired and too drunk to even bother voting.

At the campaign rallies, no manifestos are discussed and no credible debates are ever held; most Ugandans will agree that all our politicians are liars anyway, and nobody takes what they say seriously.

So, why do we have campaigns at all? What if, we woke up one day and it was decided that no political campaigns will be held henceforth?

Anyone that wants to make promises of how he will build roads in the village and bring electricity, will have to explain how he would do so probably via the TV. Or send us an e-mail; or even via WhatsApp. Or record a 30-minute radio adver; after all that sh30m can go a long way.

Because there are no campaigns, the politicians will not have to spend sh30m a day hiring bored, drunk guys to make noise on their behalf, with no guarantee that it will result into votes. And as a result we will not have MPs increasing their salaries to try and recover that sh30m a day they spent.

With no campaigns happening, no ‘supporters' will be fighting each other, and end up with bruised faces or broken teeth; and with no medical help while the candidate cruises by in his big four-wheel drive.

If there were no campaigns, maybe Ugandans will finally vote for people with integrity that will work hard to make their communities better; not fellows who can hire the most drunk, bored guys, or buy the most sachets with funny stuff inside them.