I am single this Valentine's Day and not bothered

 

 

Facebook is buzzing with talk about plans for Valentine’s; every phone call I get is about my plans for the day and all that. 

 

Not that I do not believe in love; I do. What I do not believe in, however, is forcing relationships that are not… kind of like many girls do on that day. They hold onto relationships that should be off the shelf for the fear of being alone on Valentine’s Day. Good God!

 

Last weekend, my girls and I went shopping and I noticed they were each gunning for detail. I thought I heard the word “sexy” used more often. Slowly, I realised it was a Valentine fuss and unlike the usual “that looks nice, it should work for office”, instead I heard phrases like: “My God, your man will totally melt when he sees you!” Hmmnn.

 

It finally dawned on me that my girls had caught the Valentine’s bug. It also made sense why one of them had taken back a cheating boyfriend just so she would not be alone on Valentine’s. 

 

I could see it coming. They were going to try and match me off with some guy I would never hear of just so I do not have to be alone on the “D-day”. Really? Again, you just would not believe the lengths people are willing to go so they are not alone. 

 

I would rather hang on a tree than go out with the weird guy who never stopped talking about his mother. Sadly, that was the very guy that my friends had in mind as my date for the day, yes, “the mama’s boy” David. They all turned, looked at me and chorused: “Are you sure you don’t mind being alone this Valentine’s Day? You and David make a great couple. Call him.” 

 

I am supposed to call the guy who bored me into a deep snore just because it is Valentine’s Day? Have my friends sold their brains or something? And neither am I going out with the loser that kept explaining every joke on a romantic comedy we went to watch.

 

There is also no chance that I will go dancing with the other guy that broke all my toe nails in the name of dance. I mean the guy could not stop cheering himself as he danced, panting, frowning and making scary faces with every dance move he made. If that is what people call a Valentine’s date, then by all means, I will be perfectly fine by myself. 

 

Anyone heard of the Valentine’s Day curse? Well, it is said that most relationships are tested on this very day. That makes sense. I have often wondered why most people are blue the day after Valentines, kind of like they just got bad news. 

 

You see, stakes are high on this day; the players are mostly caught in their games and hearts are broken, so tell me, why would I want any part of that? I will go out on Valentine’s Day, meet strangers, chat and laugh, grab myself a huge chunk of chocolate and make merry all by myself. Now that is what the day should be. After all, isn’t it supposed to be a day of happiness, so how on earth would I choose heartache over that?

 

Don’t get me started on the pretence that makes the day! All kinds of frail-looking flowers loitering the streets or even worse, plastic flowers packaged in a see-through pack with words, “I love you!” Folks, I am no hater of love, but a plastic flower, even worse the common teddy-bear supposedly carrying a red heart-shaped pillow with the words, “I love you” scribbled across it, what a joke! 

 

Again, someone remind me what it is that I am missing, the frail-looking flowers… poof!

I am single this Valentine’s and I am not in the tiniest bit bothered, for I and only I hold the keys to a jolly Valentine’s Day.

 

I need my toes intact, my head clear and my heart swaying in glee for a Valentine. And no notion that I must have a date of some sort to make it happen is about to alter that!

 

**********************************

 

 

 

I have been single for quite some time now. My girlfriends think I should hide my face while making such an ‘ugly’ confession. “How can a young girl still be single?” some wonder. Others have taken turns to label me as a cynical being. One of my friends last week referred to me as egoistic. 

 

For a long time, I had not been bothered by my status. But with Valentine’s Day around the corner, it is starting to dawn on me that I am single and should be concerned. Question is, why should it take this single day, named after a saint, to arrive at this realisation? 

 

Well, this is the time when the media is awash with romance-filled advertisements meant to rub it in. Then there are the supposedly well-meaning family members, who jump at the opportunity to make you feel miserable just because you are not part of a two-some. Simply put, they are trying to tell you that it is your fault that you are single. 

 

I remember last year, the love madness all around me was so much that my mind drifted to past loves. The fact that an ex had sent me a message wishing me a happy Valentine’s Day did not make it any easier on me. I know I should not have called him, but I did, only to regret days later. I might have given him the impression that I had been thinking about him all year.

 

The bigger bother about the Valentine season is the lack of having someone to fuss about like your coupled friends in order to fit in. From observation and experience, relationships are becoming less about loving someone and more of a trend. It seems as though you appear trendier, prettier and complete if you have a boyfriend.  

 

The last Valentine’s, I felt out of place when my friends were plotting for the day as early as January and discussing about gifts they hoped to buy their boyfriends. Come D-day, you cannot help, but measure yourself against the supposedly “happy” couples littered at every hangout in town. 

 

Sometimes, being single by Valentine’s comes with date disaster. I am speaking of the moment your friend’s instruct their boyfriends to come along with their single friends to purposely set you up on a blind date. After making sure you two have met and gotten a table, they disappear. 

 

While set-ups can be dandy for some, it was a disaster for me. He smoked throughout the date and cursed incessantly. 

The next day, your friend gives you a blow-by-blow account of how perfect her date went. You are supposed to pretend to be extremely happy for her notwithstanding how terrible your date went.

 

On the other hand, I would like to spare a thought for those who get ditched during the love season. I have heard of people who have earned themselves a love expulsion by refusing to follow the norms of gift purchase of that day.

 

Being single can be a letdown, especially at a time when everyone seems to be flaunting their relationship, but I have learnt to take heart.

 

I keep consoling myself with the supposition that even couples who have been fighting every year celebrate Valentine’s Day. It creates the right environment and context to evaluate my previous relationships, learn from past mistakes so as to improve future relationships.