Is she into you or are you her trophy boyfriend?

Apr 23, 2010

RELATIONSHIPS happen for many reasons, from convenience, love, companionship to desire to up one’s status quo. Trophy boyfriends fall in the latter category. According to the urban dictionary, a trophy boyfriend is one who a girl is proud to be seen with.

By Anne Kiirya

RELATIONSHIPS happen for many reasons, from convenience, love, companionship to desire to up one’s status quo. Trophy boyfriends fall in the latter category. According to the urban dictionary, a trophy boyfriend is one who a girl is proud to be seen with.

She ‘shows him off’ every chance she gets. Get this guys, she is not into you, rather she is with you for the admiration she gets from society. The girl is with you to make herself feel and look good. Want to know if you are a trophy boyfriend? Here are the telltale signs.

Your woman likes to talk, actually brag, about you, especially in your presence. “We are going to use Bob’s Mercedes,” she pipes out. Much as there’s nothing wrong with being wealthy, you should question your girlfriend’s proclamations of your wealth.

If you have told her you are uncomfortable with the proclamations and she still does it, then it is a dead give way that her reasons for being with you have a lot to do with her friends knowing that she is with a wealthy man. Another give away is how your girlfriend responds to her girlfriends’ reactions. If looks of admiration and envy are followed by a look of contentment from your girlfriend, you may very well be a trophy boyfriend.

The point of a trophy is to show it off. Looks can charm a girl but unless they are escorted by brains, brawn, or bucks, it cannot last long. It is very possible for a girl to be with a guy because he is built like a Greek god. She will be the envy of all her friends and the centre of attention whenever they are together. Jean admits that she dated a guy for nine months because he was good looking. “We would go out and have nothing to talk about!” she says. Even today, people refer to him as Jean’s hot ex although he is dating somebody else.

They cut quite a striking pair and, of course, this made Jean happy, still does. The woman may also be using the guy to make herself feel better. After all, if she can attract such a gorgeous man, this means that she too is beautiful. It may be hard to figure out but if your girlfriend is happiest when other people are exclaiming about how good you two look together, then you have a clue.

There are women who like to be in charge, wear the pants in a relationship if you wish. Having a trophy boyfriend may enable her to do just that.

According to Pauline Millard, a writer “Society teaches women that we have to sit back and let men pursue us. [The trophy boyfriend] is a way of being in charge.

It’s a way of saying: ‘‘I’m a strong woman; I am going to call the shots.’”  Such women may seek out a partner that they can dominate. For a healthy relationship, experts say there should be compromise from both parties. It may be easier for you as a man to give in to avoid fights and make your partner happy. A strong woman like this most likely needs a partner that can challenge her. If she is with you regardless, don’t be surprised when people start calling you a trophy boyfriend.

Bottom line is for women with trophy boyfriends, it is important to them that their men seen as perfect. Hence she will not allow him to do anything in public that he is not good at. She will pick out his clothes. If he has to play pool, he must win. He can’t get drunk and never does anything silly. If you have so much as smelt these qualities in your woman, beware.

Who goes for a trophy boyfriend?
We’ve heard the term “trophy wife/girlfriend.” Typically, it refers to a woman who has a great body, striking features and is often much younger than her companion. But what’s the male equivalent? Is he all about the looks, money and good manners? ANNE KIRYA went into the streets to find out what women and men had to say
Martha
It is only a desperate woman that would resort to having a trophy boyfriend. According to her it says so many bad things about a woman. She is shallow and deeply insecure if she is with a man just to impress the world.
“Why would I date someone I do not love? ”

Leila

The theory that people date for love is outdated. I know many women who have been in such relationships. Sometimes, they end up with real love and other times, it ends badly. Besides, a trophy boyfriend treats you like a queen! Which woman would not want that?
 
Roger K

If ‘trophy boyfriend’ meant what trophy wife means i.e., old richer woman dating a younger man, I would have no problem being a trophy boyfriend. However, I don’t want to be with a woman who wants me for the wrong reasons. Every one will laugh at me because everyone but you always knows about these things.
 
David

I would never agree to something like that and I don’t think any other man would allow either. If he does, it will be under duress. I believe women are good actors, they pretend to be smitten by you when they are not!
 
Kevin

There is nothing wrong with it because people have different reasons for doing what they do. If I benefit from the relationship, why not go ahead with it. It works both ways. He too can be using the girl to network and get contacts, access to events; if she is a powerful person’s daughter, it could work more to his advantage. He believes people should not judge women for things men do all the time. And if she is hot, that is a bonus.

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