Let her house be your castle
Nov 26, 2010
CALL it chauvinism if you like, but the notion that males are superior to females rules society. Take for instance the idea of moving in together. It is always the woman supposed to move in, right?
BY Angela Ndagano
CALL it chauvinism if you like, but the notion that males are superior to females rules society. Take for instance the idea of moving in together. It is always the woman supposed to move in, right?
But times have changed. You could have been dating this girl for a while and you both know you are destined for marital bliss.
With time, you realise the only thing you need is to live together. But guess what? She is one step ahead of you and suggests you move in with her.
Her arguments are clear; you live in Bwaise opposite the building that collapsed due to heavy rainfall, and she lives in Ntinda.
She has a spacious apartment, while the boundary between your bedroom and sitting room is marked by a curtain. Your arguments that a real man is not supposed to move into a woman’s apartment fall on deaf ears.
THE EXCUSES
Most guys believe they would be judged as failures if they moved in with a woman.
“People will think you are loser. If my house is not nice, its better we look for another one than move into hers,†says Peter Mwirimumbi.
But if you still make decisions according to the community’s perceptions, kindly purchase a time machine because we are no longer in the Stone Age.
You cannot claim to be all macho, and at the same time be under the influence of societal expectations.
“If he can’t move into your apartment because of what people think, in future he might refuse you to work because people think you are earning more than him,†says Mary, a nurse.
For other guys, the thought of the other men who might have lived in that house, may be a source of torment for them.
“If your girlfriend shared her place with a former love, you may feel like you’re moving into his home.
But guys, let us be fair; you have had you share of girls in your apartment. So that is no excuse.
CONFLICTS AFTER YOU MOVE IN
I’m guessing the new wave of guys who love to fleece women think this is an article advocating their rights. It is not! The fact that you moved into her home does not make her home a shelter.
Rebecca thought she was being considerate by asking her boyfriend to move in. In return for her thoughtfulness, she got a serial “detoother,†with an appetite of a glutton.
“All he did was sleep on the couch and watch TV all day and when I got home, the fridge was always empty.â€
Simply put, if you move in with her because you have no job, sweat and find one.
It goes past paying your fair share of bills. There will come a time when you will conflict over tiny issues just because you still feel the need to nurse your ego.
For example, a polite, ‘Please wash the dishes could turn into: “My moving in does not mean I’m your houseboy.â€
But remember, before you moved in, she did things a certain way, so do not think she is setting up rules to control you.
Seriously, keeping the toilet clean has nothing to do with your ego.
CALL it chauvinism if you like, but the notion that males are superior to females rules society. Take for instance the idea of moving in together. It is always the woman supposed to move in, right?
But times have changed. You could have been dating this girl for a while and you both know you are destined for marital bliss.
With time, you realise the only thing you need is to live together. But guess what? She is one step ahead of you and suggests you move in with her.
Her arguments are clear; you live in Bwaise opposite the building that collapsed due to heavy rainfall, and she lives in Ntinda.
She has a spacious apartment, while the boundary between your bedroom and sitting room is marked by a curtain. Your arguments that a real man is not supposed to move into a woman’s apartment fall on deaf ears.
THE EXCUSES
Most guys believe they would be judged as failures if they moved in with a woman.
“People will think you are loser. If my house is not nice, its better we look for another one than move into hers,†says Peter Mwirimumbi.
But if you still make decisions according to the community’s perceptions, kindly purchase a time machine because we are no longer in the Stone Age.
You cannot claim to be all macho, and at the same time be under the influence of societal expectations.
“If he can’t move into your apartment because of what people think, in future he might refuse you to work because people think you are earning more than him,†says Mary, a nurse.
For other guys, the thought of the other men who might have lived in that house, may be a source of torment for them.
“If your girlfriend shared her place with a former love, you may feel like you’re moving into his home.
But guys, let us be fair; you have had you share of girls in your apartment. So that is no excuse.
CONFLICTS AFTER YOU MOVE IN
I’m guessing the new wave of guys who love to fleece women think this is an article advocating their rights. It is not! The fact that you moved into her home does not make her home a shelter.
Rebecca thought she was being considerate by asking her boyfriend to move in. In return for her thoughtfulness, she got a serial “detoother,†with an appetite of a glutton.
“All he did was sleep on the couch and watch TV all day and when I got home, the fridge was always empty.â€
Simply put, if you move in with her because you have no job, sweat and find one.
It goes past paying your fair share of bills. There will come a time when you will conflict over tiny issues just because you still feel the need to nurse your ego.
For example, a polite, ‘Please wash the dishes could turn into: “My moving in does not mean I’m your houseboy.â€
But remember, before you moved in, she did things a certain way, so do not think she is setting up rules to control you.
Seriously, keeping the toilet clean has nothing to do with your ego.