Behave around children
Jan 16, 2009
IT is so easy being an adult, we imagine. You do not have to answer to anyone. Besides, you get to do anything you feel like, whenever and wherever you want. That is until you get children who, like skilled copy cats, are likely to do what you do.
By Susan Muyiyi
IT is so easy being an adult, we imagine. You do not have to answer to anyone. Besides, you get to do anything you feel like, whenever and wherever you want. That is until you get children who, like skilled copy cats, are likely to do what you do.
A time comes when your wings of independence ought to be clipped for the sake of your children. “There are things that you cannot do when your children are watching,†says Catherine Ruhweza, the founder of Mama Tendo, a foundation aimed at making the early years of childhood count.
“You cannot swear, air profanities and change girlfriends at will.†Sound like your mama’s instructions?
Child psychologists have discovered that children learn more from what their parents do than what they say. For one man, a father of three who smokes like a chimney, presenting a perfect example to his children makes him feel like a hypocrite.
“It (addiction to cigarettes) poses serious questions; why don’t I just quit?†confesses the man. “I have to hide whenever the urge to smoke comes and that makes me feel unqualified to have the moral authority to tell my children that they cannot smoke when it is like second nature to me. I feel challenged.â€
According to Ruhweza, trying to be the perfect parent while doing ‘nasty’ things could confuse the children. You drink, but you do not realise it is likely to cause your child to try it out when you are not watching. To avoid this, explain the dangers of drinking.
Tell your child that alcohol and cigarettes are not good for them. It can destroy their organs. Explaining to them that they do not have the maturity to handle the complexities of drinking, for instance, will go some distance in enlightening them, Ruhweza adds.
“Young children understand more than we give them credit for,†says Ruhweza.
Perhaps these challenges are more pronounced during the festive season when fathers are expected to spend more time with the family. It gets complex when your idea of fun is not necessarily that of your child. For family outings, the beaches come naturally. While the children are sipping sodas or passion fruit juice, the adults will most likely indulge with beer. Ah children’s curiosity.
They might want to have a bit of what daddy is taking. Will you give in because, after all, it is a one off and the festive season is in high gear? For the single man with children, there are so many dilemmas like having to explain the presence of another woman who is not your children’s mother, in the bedroom. It becomes more complex when you change the women very often.
How to spend time with children
Make a list of activities like reading, playing foot ball or video games, that you can do together
Show interest in those activities.
While you plan an outing, you can arrange for them games so that as you enjoy your drinks, they are not in vicinity but are playing else where.
Tell children what is good and and bad for them.
IT is so easy being an adult, we imagine. You do not have to answer to anyone. Besides, you get to do anything you feel like, whenever and wherever you want. That is until you get children who, like skilled copy cats, are likely to do what you do.
A time comes when your wings of independence ought to be clipped for the sake of your children. “There are things that you cannot do when your children are watching,†says Catherine Ruhweza, the founder of Mama Tendo, a foundation aimed at making the early years of childhood count.
“You cannot swear, air profanities and change girlfriends at will.†Sound like your mama’s instructions?
Child psychologists have discovered that children learn more from what their parents do than what they say. For one man, a father of three who smokes like a chimney, presenting a perfect example to his children makes him feel like a hypocrite.
“It (addiction to cigarettes) poses serious questions; why don’t I just quit?†confesses the man. “I have to hide whenever the urge to smoke comes and that makes me feel unqualified to have the moral authority to tell my children that they cannot smoke when it is like second nature to me. I feel challenged.â€
According to Ruhweza, trying to be the perfect parent while doing ‘nasty’ things could confuse the children. You drink, but you do not realise it is likely to cause your child to try it out when you are not watching. To avoid this, explain the dangers of drinking.
Tell your child that alcohol and cigarettes are not good for them. It can destroy their organs. Explaining to them that they do not have the maturity to handle the complexities of drinking, for instance, will go some distance in enlightening them, Ruhweza adds.
“Young children understand more than we give them credit for,†says Ruhweza.
Perhaps these challenges are more pronounced during the festive season when fathers are expected to spend more time with the family. It gets complex when your idea of fun is not necessarily that of your child. For family outings, the beaches come naturally. While the children are sipping sodas or passion fruit juice, the adults will most likely indulge with beer. Ah children’s curiosity.
They might want to have a bit of what daddy is taking. Will you give in because, after all, it is a one off and the festive season is in high gear? For the single man with children, there are so many dilemmas like having to explain the presence of another woman who is not your children’s mother, in the bedroom. It becomes more complex when you change the women very often.
How to spend time with children