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Don’t look for the bad in the one you love

By Vision Reporter

Added 3rd June 2009 03:00 AM

By this time next month, Uganda will be having 100 districts. Why aren’t you clapping? Don’t you know the dynamics of polygamy? Is it not the very poor who cherish many wives and children? Don’t they know the financial implications of marrying till

Hilary Bainemigisha

By this time next month, Uganda will be having 100 districts. Why aren’t you clapping? Don’t you know the dynamics of polygamy? Is it not the very poor who cherish many wives and children? Don’t they know the financial implications of marrying till you lose count? But didn’t experience teach them that however much they don’t marry again, poverty will never go?

So, when Kisoko, the sister of his wife Tororo comes visiting, he winks the left eye and Kisoko comes galloping because she imagines that the man that feeds her sister can feed her as well.

Before the cock crows thrice, he declares her his next wife. Later another sister, Mukuju, joins the list and the story goes on. Everyone in the village gets baffled, talks about lack of vision, burden on society and sacrificing logic for popularity but the polygamy plans go ahead and census records have to be changed again.

From 30 wives in 1986, he gets seven more by 1996 and before the print out of the changes in school textbooks is out, he is at number 45 districts.

He doesn’t get richer but so what? Neither does he get poorer! He gets more inlaws which mean potential votes. That is the folly of believing in textbook. Take polygamy, for example and ask minister Rukuutana. He is married to … (the number may put me in problems) but they all co-operate as smoothly as opposition parties in Uganda.

They help each other in difficulties, nurse each other in hospital, discuss startegies to love him better and the only thing they have not done yet is to call a joint press conference and declare their husband a hero for next week’s Heroes day celebrations.

So, while you are there loathing systems and people, they are relaxing to enjoy the circumstances. There is always some good in anything or any person however much you loathe them.

However sinful you are, there will be a group of people who will amplify the good you did and drag your name before the pope who basically looks at the crowd that attended your beautification mass before ticking you among the saints.

Look at Nyerere, lining up for canonisation. Who cares how often he prayed on Sunday, how often he cheated his wife, how he handled opponents, failed to forgive his enemies, lied or which money sank through his fingers?

This loveable Catholic gave Tanzania a good ntandikwa and suddenly, it becomes a launching pad for his missile to heaven. How many people did his political strategy leave in poverty? How many wars did he support and sponsor and how many died in them? (May my uncle, killed by Tanzanian forces in 1979, rest in peace). I remember the politician-turned-servant of God swearing on radio that his troops were not in Uganda when they were actually eating chicken in Isingiro district.

But with God, nothing is impossible. Who knows? Maybe the list of politician-saints will soon get more districts. At the heavenly table with Nyerere, we may soon add Kiwanuka (who was killed for defending justice), Muteesa (invited the first missionaries), Amin (Africanised Uganda’s economy), Lule (co-founded NRM which ushered in peace and stability), Obote (negotiated Uganda’s independence), Muwanga (who … somebody will come up with something), Lutwa (… fill the space yourselves), Mobutu (built the biggest basilica for God), etc.

Look, listen and learn. Stop looking for the bad in the people you love. They may not be good at communication, their bums and backs may be twins, one of your kids may resemble your local pastor, they may even be poor in bed, but is that all that can be said about Beloved?

Look for the good and amplify it. Then they will start looking acceptable and their sins will be forgotten and loving them will be a lot better.

For while you are busy regretting the choice you made, other people are preparing to propose their names for sainthood or new districts. Love what you have especially if you can’t have what you love.
hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug

Don’t look for the bad in the one you love

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