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The fun that never was

By Vision Reporter

Added 29th October 2009 03:00 AM

ON our last night, Sandra took me to a bar packed with white people, saying we were going to meet her mzungu man. “He is not really my boyfriend, but we have fun,” she said. Indeed, he was fun. He bought us lots of tequila shots and we were drunk with

ON our last night, Sandra took me to a bar packed with white people, saying we were going to meet her mzungu man. “He is not really my boyfriend, but we have fun,” she said. Indeed, he was fun. He bought us lots of tequila shots and we were drunk within a few minutes.

After handing me sh50,000, he and Sandra went into one of the corners and started a serious make-out session. Standing alone, I was starting to feel awkward when I heard a bang.

The sound came from the corner where Sandra had retreated with her mzungu.
It was Sandra’s mzungu fighting with sandra’s other guy.

The mzungu stood up and tried to hit back at his attacker, but the other guy was strong. Sandra was screaming when the guy turned and gave her a slap that echoed throughout the bar.

It seems someone had notified the Police. They came and picked up the black dude and Sandra.

I began wondering where to sleep.
It was way past midnight, the time Berlin closes. I decided to take my chances with Berlin.

When I got there, the gateman told me to climb over the fence because he didn’t keep the key. How was I supposed to go over? I wondered. I climbed for what seemed like ages and blacked out.

I was dreaming when I woke up with a loud scream. It was raining heavily and someone was shaking me.

“Wake up, wake up,” the stranger kept saying. I woke up and realised I was lying in the compound outside our hall. “What happened to you?” she asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t remember how I got here. What time is it?” I asked groggily.
“It is 6:15am,” she said. “My, you stink. Were you drinking last night.” “I suppose so. You mean I slept in the grass?”

“Yeah and we need to get back inside. I’m not about to catch a cold.”
As we approached the entrance, I threw up. “What is your room number?” she asked. I told her and she helped me up the stairs. “I think you need a shower first,” she said.

She helped me out of my wet clothes and led me to the shower after which she helped me into bed. I woke up hours later feeling weak.

My head was pounding. I slowly got out of bed and drank some water. The next minute, I was running to the toilets to puke. I could not stay up much longer.

I crawled back into bed and tried to fall asleep again. One of my neighbours came over to ask what was wrong.
“Hello, are you ok? Do you need to see a doctor?” she asked, sounding very worried.

As I opened my mouth to speak, I gave off a stale stench of alcohol.
“Hangover?” she laughed a little. “You definitely need lots of water.”

She poured some into a glass. “You freshers need to take it easy. You will kill yourselves.”

After about three glasses, I felt better and vowed never to drink again.
My roommates must have come in while I was still asleep. When I woke up, there was a loud rattle of voices. “Eh, you are finally awake! I heard they found you on the Berlin lawn?”

Wow! Word had already gone round. “Wah! That is just a rumour. Where did you hear it from?”

“It’s all over Berlin. Mbu some girl picked you up from the lawn this morning. I think there might have been others who saw you.”

“It is just that I came in very early this morning, as soon as they opened the gate. I don’t know why people would be saying that?”

“Anyway, my name is Zainab,” the girl said. “Oh, and I’m Jolene.”
The rest introduced themselves as Hanifah, Rashida and Fatuma.

The fun that never was

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