How to handle sex during pregnancy

Apr 17, 2007

DID you know that, due to fear of hurting an unborn baby during sexual activity, some people experience a certain amount of anxiety? At one time, obstetricians (doctors who qualify in caring for pregnant women and helping in childbirth) felt that intercourse might do harm to the unborn child. But to

By Grace Canada

DID you know that, due to fear of hurting an unborn baby during sexual activity, some people experience a certain amount of anxiety?

Joyce, for example, writes: “I am 25 and pregnant for the first time. My husband and I enjoy sex more than before I became pregnant. However, after sex, I feel a certain amount of anxiety due to fear that the baby might get hurt during our sexual activity or that it might know what is going on. I am traumatised. Is my fear founded?”

For Joyce and others with similar anxieties, there is absolutely no chance that your unborn child will be hurt or scarred by your sexual activity.
At one time, obstetricians (doctors who qualify in caring for pregnant women and helping in childbirth) felt that intercourse might do harm to the unborn child. But today’s obstetricians rarely advise against sex during pregnancy. Many agree that sexual intercourse during pregnancy is important because it makes labour easier.

However, if your doctor advises you to avoid intercourse (which only happens if there is a threat of miscarriage or around the 12th week if there is a history of miscarriages, or perhaps during the last month), then you must cooperate.

The key to comfortable sex during pregnancy is position. Any position that is comfortable for you will do. For comfort, here are some positions you may want to try out:
  • Rear entry. As months go by, this position is the best because it puts no weight or pressure on the womb.

  • Standing up. Both partners stand up, the woman leans on something for support. To prevent deep penetration, legs should be closed.

  • The woman sits on his lap at the edge of a bed or a chair with legs closed. This too prevents deep penetration.

  • A woman lying on a bed and a man kneeling between her legs.
    By the way, it has been found that due to hormonal surges during pregnancy, some women who are otherwise quite passive when not pregnant, become totally wild. Others, however, want to go off actual intercourse for a time during pregnancy. But they still want to continue with physical closeness and cuddling. This can be a good opportunity for a couple to learn other ways of giving and receiving physical pleasure, such as, giving one another body massage, cuddling together, or giving her a foot massage
    Something more:


  • After giving birth, the kegel exercises are excellent for toning and strengthening of your pelvic floor muscles, performed regularly they improve your sexual response. The kegels consists of the same muscle action you use when you stop the flow of urine mid stream:
  • Starting with an empty bladder, contract the muscles that you use when you try to stop urine flow. When you contract them you should feel the pulling. An effective kegel exercise will cause the vagina to tighten.


  • Pull the muscles and hold for a count of three. Then relax for a count of three. Work up to 10 or 15 repetition each session.


  • For best results, do the exercises at least three times a day in different positions: standing, lying down and sitting. It may take three to six weeks to notice improvement.


  • According to some gynecologists, it is a sad fact that some women are forced into sexual intercourse only two or three days after giving birth. Needless to say, this is positively wrong for several reasons: The stitches from the episiotomy can easily come apart, causing considerable physical and emotional trauma, infection can easily set in and it is demoralising for the woman to be subject to such physical and emotional savagery.

    Dear sir, if you are one of those men who force women into sex soon after delivering, please stop it. And dear lady, if you are one of those victims, stand your ground and simply say: “No. Not yet. I am not ready. This is positively bad for my health.”

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