At last we have a first: Uganda’s medal for alcohol
Jul 19, 2005
<br>For the first time in a long time Uganda has won a major trophy. By the way, this has nothing to do with Dorcas Inzikuru or Kassim Ouma, the thing is, World Health Organisation last week announced that Uganda is the biggest consumer of alcohol in the world.
For the first time in a long time Uganda has won a major trophy. By the way, this has nothing to do with Dorcas Inzikuru or Kassim Ouma, the thing is, World Health Organisation last week announced that Uganda is the biggest consumer of alcohol in the world. At first I didn’t believe it when CNN broke the news, but after doing a quick survey of the bars in Kampala I actually thought WHO had a point. Rumour now has it that President Museveni will this evening go and receive the medal in Geneva on behalf of Uganda, mbu he will be seen off at the airport by Kahinda Otafiire and Kibirige Ssebunya. UBL’s Baker Magunda and Nile Breweries Shem Semambo will accompany Kagu to Geneva! However, the presidential Press Secretary, Onapito Ekomoloit was not readily available to confirm this, so it remains a rumour!
Ahem, the other day I almost cried when MP Sarah Kiyingi moved a motion that there should be a regulation in alcohol consumption in Uganda, as I was about to drag out my hankie, Alintuma Nsambu (I didn’t even know there’s an MP with that name) rose up and said that sijui they should change the packaging of alcoholic products and then….. what???? Mr. Nsambu, a piece of advice here; when you have nothing to say, just zip up! Okay? Thank you.
That said, I wonder why now His lugubriousness, Apollonius Nsibambi wants ministries to interface with that of ethics and integrity and check the alcohol consumption in this country. As a matter of fact, I think alcohol is the best invention man ever made ever since the steam engine. About the regulated hours of consumption, I am very okay with that and I hope the Government will pass a law where people are not supposed to drink between the hours of 7:00am and 11:00am!
The thing is, we cannot win a game at the cricket world cup, we cannot play rugby, we were displaced by Kenyans in the game of corruption, our soccer is so pathetic—We are just a bunch of idiots who cannot win anything and when a group of committed drunkos help us win a world championship Nsibambi gets up and says what?
As far as I am concerned, Ugandans should be very proud of the recent achievement bestowed upon us by the World Health Organisation. Every patriotic Ugandan should go and buy a beer and drink wherever they are, whether on the streets, whether they are playing sex or even driving, these achievements don’t come easy, y’know.
I don’t understand why NCS wastes time and money on sports disciplines that do not bring any returns to us as a country, sports like darts, bedminton, weightlifting and tennis.
I hereby compel the Government to concentrate on a sport like ‘drinking’ that brings us instant international recognition. Now that we hold the World Cup in drinking, the government should slash all the taxes on alcoholic products so that even next year we can go and defend our title and even the next year we can defend it again. Soon Uganda will be referred to as the Brazil of alcohol!
By the way alcohol is a game of lifting a full bottle of an alcoholic beverage from point ‘A’ to your mouth and back. The more you do it, the more your chances of winning!
Once again, I am very proud to be Ugandan and I hereby dare Rwanda to a friendly match in this game at Namboole — You can even come with your Juju, I will drink it too!
Ends
Ahem, the other day I almost cried when MP Sarah Kiyingi moved a motion that there should be a regulation in alcohol consumption in Uganda, as I was about to drag out my hankie, Alintuma Nsambu (I didn’t even know there’s an MP with that name) rose up and said that sijui they should change the packaging of alcoholic products and then….. what???? Mr. Nsambu, a piece of advice here; when you have nothing to say, just zip up! Okay? Thank you.
That said, I wonder why now His lugubriousness, Apollonius Nsibambi wants ministries to interface with that of ethics and integrity and check the alcohol consumption in this country. As a matter of fact, I think alcohol is the best invention man ever made ever since the steam engine. About the regulated hours of consumption, I am very okay with that and I hope the Government will pass a law where people are not supposed to drink between the hours of 7:00am and 11:00am!
The thing is, we cannot win a game at the cricket world cup, we cannot play rugby, we were displaced by Kenyans in the game of corruption, our soccer is so pathetic—We are just a bunch of idiots who cannot win anything and when a group of committed drunkos help us win a world championship Nsibambi gets up and says what?
As far as I am concerned, Ugandans should be very proud of the recent achievement bestowed upon us by the World Health Organisation. Every patriotic Ugandan should go and buy a beer and drink wherever they are, whether on the streets, whether they are playing sex or even driving, these achievements don’t come easy, y’know.
I don’t understand why NCS wastes time and money on sports disciplines that do not bring any returns to us as a country, sports like darts, bedminton, weightlifting and tennis.
I hereby compel the Government to concentrate on a sport like ‘drinking’ that brings us instant international recognition. Now that we hold the World Cup in drinking, the government should slash all the taxes on alcoholic products so that even next year we can go and defend our title and even the next year we can defend it again. Soon Uganda will be referred to as the Brazil of alcohol!
By the way alcohol is a game of lifting a full bottle of an alcoholic beverage from point ‘A’ to your mouth and back. The more you do it, the more your chances of winning!
Once again, I am very proud to be Ugandan and I hereby dare Rwanda to a friendly match in this game at Namboole — You can even come with your Juju, I will drink it too!
Ends