Teach children to be contented with what you have

Nov 20, 2005

Our quest for wealth, status and achievements seems insatiable and grows higher daily. Even as we toil to make ends meet, our needs tend to increase with the slightest salary increment we receive. We are trapped in this vicious cycle of discontentment! When shall we ever be contented with what we ha

Our quest for wealth, status and achievements seems insatiable and grows higher daily. Even as we toil to make ends meet, our needs tend to increase with the slightest salary increment we receive. We are trapped in this vicious cycle of discontentment! When shall we ever be contented with what we have?

In a society that adores status, discontentment seems to reign unabated perhaps because discontented parents instill similar values in their children. Have you taught your child the value of being contented with the little that life brings their way? This might sound an insult to the parent whose child has never experienced scarcity. Did you know that you are preparing your child to face life in the world and not in your household? While you may indulge your child’s wishes, the real world will not.

Many parents often think it is good to provide everything the child cries for. After all don’t we all toil and sacrifice for our children? What then is wrong with ‘spoiling’ them a little bit if resources allow?

We crave to have our needs met from the cradle to the grave. Babies express or act out their needs from the time they realise they can manipulate the world in their favour. They will throw temper tantrums and push you to the wall with their unrealistic demands. Good parenting does not lie in providing a child’s desires.

The golden truth is, irrespective of your status, you cannot have everything you want in life. A child who perceives the world as a place where all their demands will be met may be in for a rude awakening. Expose the child to the real world by instilling the virtue of contentment. Here is how to go about it:

- The lesson of contentment should begin during infancy when self-control is instilled through a good routine. There must be time for meals, bathing and sleeping. In older children, self-control is enforced through discipline and setting limits. Lack of self-control results into a child who is oblivious to rules, insensitive to other people’s feelings and merely seeks to satisfy their own desires.

- Do not expect to meet all your child’s desires. Since we can never be equal in life, we should not expect to wear the same clothes, drive the same cars or live in the same houses.

- Expose your children to both scarcity and abundance. You could do this by taking dishes that many children despise like beans at least twice a week. Your child’s demand for more and more pocket money might be a sign of your failure to teach contentment.

- It is not how much you have that counts, but how contented you are with it. An attitude of gratitude is an indispensable virtue that every caring parent must instill in a child. Discontentment exposes itself in fussiness as seen among children who pressurise parents to provide chips while the family is taking rice. Discontented children are never grateful and often develop a habit of grumbling, borrowing and even stealing.

You must not shy away from telling your child what you cannot afford. Life changes and every child must learn that both wealth and poverty are not permanent. Lay a foundation that will never be shaken when the child leaves your nest. jwagwau@newvision.co.ug 077-631032
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