Positive remarks boost behaviour
Oct 19, 2004
Are you having trouble with your child’s behaviour? Take heart, you are only one of the billions of parents, who are. Usually many children grow out of bad habits with time.
By Ambrose Lubega
Are you having trouble with your child’s behaviour? Take heart, you are only one of the billions of parents, who are. Usually many children grow out of bad habits with time.
It all depends on what you do and how effectively do it. The way a parent treats a child from the very earliest stages has a strong bearing on how that child views the world, and subsequently behaves.
Dr. Mike Stapleton, a prominent child-psychologist and author in Minnesota, USA refers to it as ‘healthy’ or ‘unhealthy’ development. On his website, he recommends that parents provide their children with encouragement and positive experiences.
Positive behaviour can also be shown through lots of physical contact and affection, although parents should not forget to be strict when correcting errant children.
Dr. Nuwa Parker, a paediatrician, urges parents to pay attention to a child’s emotional needs as emphatically as the physical ones.
“When a child goes hungry for a while, for example,†he says, “ the effects are not purely physical, but also emotional.â€
To explain this, he says the body is a very largely interconnected unit, and the child is not as able to control his or her faculties as an adult. A child will cry in discomfort , hunger, pain, or loneliness. Consider then the numerous reports of child molestation and starving in the Ugandan press, and how warped the children’s minds are likely to become.
Dr. Stapleton, an American psychologist, adds that a child only begins to realise the power he holds at three to six years and may intentionally test the parent by misbehaving.
“Kids are spies,†he says in a quote given to Good Living Magazine in 1985, “They act cute, but are looking for weaknesses and will eventually use them against us.â€
Many parents flog their children or ignore them. Doctors discourage this, and warn that it may only serve to fuel the child’s rebellion, if not done right. A reasonable punishment could, for example, be followed by a pep talk with the child.
Dr. Harvey Letitan, also a pediatrician and psychologist working with troubled youths at the Mercy Medical Centre, USA, attributes child misbehaviour to:
Attention: the child may correct his or her behaviour, but misbehave another way, to keep the parent busy. He adds that this is the most common cause, accounting for more than 45% of infants’ misbehaviour.
Power: The child feels a need to prove to you that you cannot make him do anything he does not want to do.
Revenge: The child may revenge if persecuted. Dr. Levitan says theway to tell when revenge is the motive is when the parent is hurt.
Inadequacy: The “I can’t do anything right†attitude. Children need responsibilities, beginning with very light ones like picking what clothes to wear, no matter how poorly matched. This will eventually lead to much better decision-making.
Dr. Parker recommends that communication roadblocks between parents and children are best tackled before the children make nine years.
Are you having trouble with your child’s behaviour? Take heart, you are only one of the billions of parents, who are. Usually many children grow out of bad habits with time.
It all depends on what you do and how effectively do it. The way a parent treats a child from the very earliest stages has a strong bearing on how that child views the world, and subsequently behaves.
Dr. Mike Stapleton, a prominent child-psychologist and author in Minnesota, USA refers to it as ‘healthy’ or ‘unhealthy’ development. On his website, he recommends that parents provide their children with encouragement and positive experiences.
Positive behaviour can also be shown through lots of physical contact and affection, although parents should not forget to be strict when correcting errant children.
Dr. Nuwa Parker, a paediatrician, urges parents to pay attention to a child’s emotional needs as emphatically as the physical ones.
“When a child goes hungry for a while, for example,†he says, “ the effects are not purely physical, but also emotional.â€
To explain this, he says the body is a very largely interconnected unit, and the child is not as able to control his or her faculties as an adult. A child will cry in discomfort , hunger, pain, or loneliness. Consider then the numerous reports of child molestation and starving in the Ugandan press, and how warped the children’s minds are likely to become.
Dr. Stapleton, an American psychologist, adds that a child only begins to realise the power he holds at three to six years and may intentionally test the parent by misbehaving.
“Kids are spies,†he says in a quote given to Good Living Magazine in 1985, “They act cute, but are looking for weaknesses and will eventually use them against us.â€
Many parents flog their children or ignore them. Doctors discourage this, and warn that it may only serve to fuel the child’s rebellion, if not done right. A reasonable punishment could, for example, be followed by a pep talk with the child.
Dr. Harvey Letitan, also a pediatrician and psychologist working with troubled youths at the Mercy Medical Centre, USA, attributes child misbehaviour to:
Attention: the child may correct his or her behaviour, but misbehave another way, to keep the parent busy. He adds that this is the most common cause, accounting for more than 45% of infants’ misbehaviour.
Power: The child feels a need to prove to you that you cannot make him do anything he does not want to do.
Revenge: The child may revenge if persecuted. Dr. Levitan says theway to tell when revenge is the motive is when the parent is hurt.
Inadequacy: The “I can’t do anything right†attitude. Children need responsibilities, beginning with very light ones like picking what clothes to wear, no matter how poorly matched. This will eventually lead to much better decision-making.
Dr. Parker recommends that communication roadblocks between parents and children are best tackled before the children make nine years.