How to achieve top hygiene

Apr 29, 2011

THIS is a true story. He was my OB in secondary school. But after S 4, he failed to get fees and dropped out. As his frustrations piled up, he became alcoholic.

By Hilary Bainemigisha

THIS is a true story. He was my OB in secondary school. But after S 4, he failed to get fees and dropped out. As his frustrations piled up, he became alcoholic.

Whenever we meet, he introduces me to whoever he is with as an OB, smiling widely to reveal rotting teeth buried under food particles from the last decade. The stench from his mouth seems to compete with his smelly sweat, unkempt hair and unwashed clothes.

But he has a fairly decent wife and they are still producing children. You wonder how she handles romance. It must be a nightmare.

Of course, none of you reading this plays in my OB’s league – or so I hope. But there are some who are on the other side of the acceptable border as far as hygiene is concerned.

Last week, we agreed that romance and hygiene have an unbreakable link. Those who still doubt have never been forced to kiss a reeking mouth.

However beautiful a person is, if they are smelling like they are hiding a rotten rat under their tongues, there is no way any of your five senses will work. The greatest gift you can ever give to your loved one is proper hygiene. In love, it should never be an option but a compulsion.

The head is probably what you focus on the moment you see someone and it comes with almost all the tools you can ever need for romantic innovation and emotional fulfilment. And the key is to appeal to all the senses of smell, taste, sight and hearing.

Hair: You may never change the type of hair you were born with but its quality depends entirely on you. For either sex, the height of the hair, the type and quantity does not matter as long as it doesn’t smell badly, harbour lice or a lot of dandruff. Lice is actually evidence of poor hygiene or companionship with a ‘dirty’ partner.

Hair smell may be due to fungal and bacterial infections of the scalp, but factors like poor personal hygiene matter because even in excessive sweating or overactive scalp glands, washing regularly would really help.

Eyes, nose and ears: These are important romance stations because other than being receptors of the human senses, they are pleasurable to touch and feel. However, many people ignore the hygienic condition which is only about regular cleaning on the outside. Sometimes, these can be sources of bad smell due to internal problems which should be handled with an ENT (Ear, Nose, Throat) medical expert.

Mouth: For many people, it is taken as the focal area because it is where kissing is done. It is the first point of contact in deeper romance. Mouth hygiene includes dental cleanliness, the throat and lung health. It is usually handled by regular brushing.

Next week, we shall visit the most sensitive area, the groin

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