Are you in a relationship and want it to flourish? Sometimes couples feel dissatisfied, unhappy and unfulfilled in their marriages or relationships. 

The Bible Society of Uganda with support from partners such as Clarion Trust International on Friday, July 22, held a two-day marriage conference to discuss the importance of marriage and how to resolve conflicts. 

Canon Richard Obura (Left) and wife Justice Hellen Obura (second left) during Marriage conference at Serena Hotel in Kampala on July 22, 2022.

The conference also comes at a time when the institution of marriage was put to test, especially during the COVID-19 lockdown period. 

But also, families continue to grapple with the current high costs of living, among other realities of life. 

Here are some tips that couples who attended the marriage conference shared. 

A process of maturity 

Tamar Kharono Ssembiro, the publicity secretary of Mothers Union Church of Uganda Kampala Diocese, said it took maturity for her to appreciate marriage and this has enabled her to remain in the institution for the past 22 years. 

Apostle Joseph Sserwadda addressing journalists about marriage during Marriage conference at Serena Hotel in Kampala on July 22, 2022.

“I got married at 23 in my final year at university. But I must say there are many things I did not know that I can confidently talk about now. It has been a process of maturity as a person,” she said. 

Ssembiro said putting Jesus Christ at the centre of their marriage has helped them thrive. 

“At some point, I would get so disappointed that we are not talking through issues. But my husband opted to pray and I would get so mad, but later I appreciated him,” she said. 

Invest in your partner 

Bridget Ssenkungu, a lecturer at Makerere University Business School said if people can afford to invest in their education and career, then they should invest in their lifetime partners. 

“We need to be real and honest to learn that pressures will never cease. People need to plan and strategise and know that they will achieve their goals. However, this can only be done with a firm foundation of your partner,” Ssenkungu who has been married for eight years said. 

Patience and forgiveness 

Dr Joseph Serwadda, the presiding apostle of the born-again faith who has been married for the last 38 years said marriage works if you give it time and patience. 

“We understood that we both came from different backgrounds, but we committed to living with each other and so differences don’t stand in the way of our relationship,” Serwadda said. 

He explained that the challenge with many couples today is that they are very impatient, saying people no longer want to learn and understand one another. 

“The other aspect is spiritual. Jesus taught us about forgiveness so man should learn to forgive because we all error and come to a point where things do not go as expected. There is no sin that cannot be forgiven,” Serwadda said. 

My titles stop at the gate 

Despite climbing several ladders career-wise, Dr Patricia Achan Okiria, the deputy inspector general of government, said she chooses to be a housewife at home. 

“I have a doctorate in law, I am a deputy IGG and I have been a commissioner before, but when they take me back home, at the gate is where those titles stop because I am a mother and a wife,” she said. 

Okiria who will be marking 20 years of marriage in March next year said when we get into work life and climb ladders, we often tend to forget our responsibilities, adding that the conference provided a good platform for learning. 

Continuous counselling 

Milly Lwanga, who has been married for 20 years said continuous counselling helps them iron out their problems. 

She has also mastered the art of speaking to her spouse not in the heat of the moment, but rather when the dust settles. 

This she said prevents one from making statements they might regret later. 

Rev Stephen Gaukroger, the guest speaker said part of the reason for the decay in marriages is directly linked to the abandonment of the bible, making the biblical view of marriage under attack. 

This he said explains why people easily divorce today, have multiple partners, or are living together but not getting married in church at all. 

“It is imperative for us Christian leaders to defend the Bible from attack by affirming it in our own lives and preaching it and teaching it to our young children,” Gaukroger said.