For many men, the thrill has BECOME getting the number; he knows what it implies. It means he will get to call her, ask her out, go for drinks, dinner maybe, then proceed to wild willing loud sex.
The very predictability of the pattern has become tedious for today’s male, because once he has her number, he might as well count that as a closed sale, writes DENNIS ASIIMWE...
Okay, let’s get down to brass tacks. In the middle of a birthday party for someone that I threw last weekend, I was doing my genial host thing (I can be genial, mind), moving from one little group to another, checking on people’s drinks, dropping a line here, grinning like a wolf there (and also making sure no one was quietly pocketing the family silver), when I overhead a curious bit of back and forth between one ‘wolfy’ male and a lithe pretty young thing who were snuggled in a corner.
He said: “So…give me your number…” She said: “Why?” He said: “Because I want to call you a¬fter tonight, silly…” She said: “What if you don’t call?” Him (Taken aback): “WHY wouldn’t I call? I asked for the number!” Her: “You bi men these days you ask us for us our numbers but even if we give you the numbers you bi men you don’t call…” Okay, okay, I am paraphrasing, but she DID sound a bit like that.
Traditionally of course, what we have become used to is this: men don’t call after they have gotten what they want, which, to put it politely, is sex.
Once he is done (unless it was a rather delightful episode that he feels requires repeating), he is not likely to call you again. Or at least that is how the story supposedly goes.
Except in this situation that I was eavesdropping on, it would appear we are having a new phenomenon: men taking numbers from girls they meet and flirt with and have obvious interest in, but never EVER calling.
Is this really happening, or is it some sort of urban legend? Later that night, on the way to the club (which was a sort of after-party arrangement), I asked one of the girls in our group, an accountant with a medium sized bank, if men ever asked for her number and didn’t call.
Peggy nodded vigorously, her weave bouncing in the warm evening air. “All the frigging time!” Her shrill tones reminded me of nails on a blackboard…new nails. She continued, probably loving the sound of her voice.
“It doesn’t make sense to us girls. He seems to like you, you do the whole flirting thing, give him your number, and you just know when he calls you are going to set up a meet and greet and maybe a meet and naughty (hehe) but wah!”
At this point, her voice actually got shriller. Outside the car we were moving in, dogs howled in indignation.
Peggy, who was an attractive buxom 20-something ball of energy added: “that’s why we say you men don’t know what you want. Why? WHY don’t you men call after getting our numbers from us?” So this has been happening for a while, to womenfolk…strange, eh? Well...not really.
Women are right about one thing when it comes to men: the need to hunt prey. It’s instinctive, it’s right there, bloody hard to miss. It’s what women imply when they go with the whole “Men are dogs” phrase, though a more apt definition would be “Men are wolves”. They are.
There’s only one problem with this analogy: most of the satisfaction of the hunt is mental. It’s in their minds. If you are having difficulty following, let me paint you a picture. Let’s take a man, and give him a name, say Godfrey.
Godfrey likes to hunt, and more specifically, to hunt women.
He loves the thrill, the evasiveness of the prey, the final cajoling, the submission. There’s a pattern to his routine, one that he has perfected over time:
- Meet female (online, at work, at a party, at a wedding or at the bloody market for all we care);
- Flirt some more…
- Flirt very kinkily…
- Flirt kinkily and describe and exchange sexual ideas, favourite positions, the works…
- Exchange numbers. And then Godfrey doesn’t call.
Because Godfrey has been there… done that…and knows exactly how the whole thing is going to go.
In today’s sexual courtship game, by the time a man gets a number from the girl, the thrill is gone, dead, as interesting as watching grass grow gently in a mild summer breeze.
For many men, the thrill has BECOME getting the number; he knows what it implies. It means he will get to call her, ask her out, go for drinks, dinner maybe (though whoever bothers with dinner in these enlightened times is a bit of a dolt), then proceed to wild willing loud sex.
The very predictability of the pattern has become tedious for today’s male, because once he has her number, he might as well count that as a closed sale.
THAT is why men don’t call you when you give them your number, ladies…the thrill was in getting it.
Unless he really needs to get laid in one convenient hurry, he will find the rest, the wining, the dining, somewhat tedious. I hope this helps, Peggy.