Life Style
You have been wifed!
Publish Date: Feb 01, 2014
You have been wifed!
  • mail
  • img
newvision

By Angela Ndagano

Congratulations, you’re in love, the sex is great, and you are having the time of your life. Well, that is what you believe. In other news, your relatives and friends are seeking the intervention of pastors, priests, sangomas, medicine men and exorcists.

This is because everyone except you realizes you have surrendered the sacred gift of freewill to the wife or girlfriend. Wake up and read the signs. You’ve been wifed.

You call her mummy

“Mummy, for me Mummy I was saying.’’ ‘’Mummy, can I please go and watch Football?, Mummy, you are smart.’’ Listen! It is not right to refer to someone you are having sex with as mummy. It is plain wrong! It sounds sick but you do not know that because you’ve been wifed.

Gate pass

Does every night out with the boys feel like you are a teenager who has escaped from school? Going for a beer requires permission, so does every other trivial outing. If you pop into a bar for a quick one without permission, there will definitely be harassment at home. ­

The harassment will be followed by a sex ban—that is if she lets you into her house. Her Friends are your only friends. Your friends don’t even bother calling you anymore because they know you’ll be kept under lock and key all weekend. So, most of your free time is spent with your woman’s friends. It gets worse; she only lets you spend time with her unattractive friends.

From 24(TV series) to Choti Bahu

Do you remember the times you enjoyed macho series and movies? ­ Those were the good times, weren’t they? But lately, Television time is dominated by Choti Bahu and other cheesy Latino soaps. When she is not at home, you still have to watch and give an update when your lover comes home. It doesn’t matter if you enjoy them, it is not right.

You spend hours in the salon

One of the splendors of being a man is the fact that you don’t have to spend hours in the salon. But, a man who has been ‘wifed’ spends hours in the salon waiting for his woman to get done with her beauty treatments.

The relatives

Your wife always complains when your relatives come over and yet her entire clan and well-wishers live in your home. Even the gateman and house-help are her relatives. Don’t be surprised if the guy who sells Newspapers outside your home is her relative.

The chicken-neck

­This is self-explanatory. You are the man of the home. You deserve a respectable piece of chicken. Be a man and stop accepting the chicken-neck.

The statements, comments, or opinions expressed through the use of New Vision Online are those of their respective authors, who are solely responsible for them, and do not necessarily represent the views held by the staff and management of New Vision Online.

New Vision Online reserves the right to moderate, publish or delete a post without warning or consultation with the author.Find out why we moderate comments. For any questions please contact digital@newvision.co.ug

  • mail
  • img
blog comments powered by Disqus
Also In This Section
Nakyeyune gives hope to Uganda’s little people
Annet Nakyeyune Tibaleka had always dreamed of beautiful babies and a happy marriage. But her dream was shaken in 2002, when she realised that her firstborn child was a Little Person....
For years, I thought I was HIV+
He was stigmatised and rejected for over seven years as everyone thought he had HIV. Nonetheless, this situation drove Humphrey Nabimanya, 26, to become a youth peer educator and to start Reach a Hand Uganda....
Breaking Bad, Modern Family dominate Emmys
CULT TV drama series ''Breaking Bad'' and comedy hit ''Modern Family'' were the big winners at the annual Emmys, which paid moving tribute to late Hollywood icon Robin Williams...
The Bible verse that can actually change the world
My friend Jimmy is not an overtly very religious person, he does not always announce when he goes to church or what Jesus has done in his life. I’m sure he is a Christian, but he does not make much out of it, so I was surprised when a few weeks ago he posted a long Bible verse on his Facebook page...
Beyonce, Miley Cyrus dominate MTV VMAs
MILEY Cyrus won the award for Video of the Year for her hit single "Wrecking Ball," at Sunday''s 2014 MTV Video Music Awards outside Los Angeles...
Robin Williams suicide casts shadow over Emmys
THIS year''s ceremony will be overshadowed by the apparent August 11 suicide of Hollywood great Robin Williams that rocked the entertainment world...
Do you think the National Census positively contributes to improved Livelihood in Uganda?
Yes
No
Can't Say
follow us
subscribe to our news letter