By Hilary Bainemigisha
What do Ugandans say about dating? At what age should it start? Who is the ideal date and how long should you wait before asking for sex?
From our July poll, we now bring you what Ugandans say about the most important strategy, how they prefer to be asked out and the people they can never date.
The Saturday Vision online poll of about 800 urban respondents randomly sampled a total of 248 responses and analysed their self-confessed unverified feedback aggregately, using the analysis software known as SPSS.
Venturing to please is, perhaps, the most intimidating for a person in love. We rely on peer advice, books, experience and sengas, but often, we stampede through and hope for the best. Today, Ugandans reveal what they prefer in the dating arena, and if you fasten your belt properly, you will learn and become a super star.
When to start dating
About 150 people answered this question. Fifty-two percent said dating should begin when the person is at university, 20% said when one is in high school, 13% after school, 11% said during O’level and 4% said at primary school level. All respondents above 36, most likely parents, said no to primary school dating.
Those aged 56 and above took the notch higher by outlawing it, even at O’level. Seventy-one percent of females want it only after A’level, when a person joins institutions of higher learning. Males are split between university (39%) and A’level (26%).
Surprisingly, some Christians and Muslims said ‘yes’ to primary school dating, Born-agains said ‘no’ to dating before campus, while the Jehovah’s Witnesses wanted it after school. The majority of people who had no problem with primary school dating were Baganda, Acholi and Banyankole.
What to look out for on first date
Forty-seven percent of respondents look out for one’s physical appearance, 30% are interested in attitude, 13% in courtesy, 5% in hygiene, 4% in the cost of the date’s outfit and 1% in jewellery. More females than males were interested in courtesy, while more males than females looked out for attitude and both equally noted body hygiene.
Most crucial body part
Respondents overwhelmingly voted for the whole person (67%). Eight percent said the eyes, smile and breasts, while 4% said one’s outfi ts and feet. After noticing one’s whole appearance, males go for the breasts, then the smile, eyes and, lastly, the feet. No one cares about outfi ts, which females often pay a lot of attention to before going on a first date.
Females also fi rst scan one’s whole appearance, then the eyes, outfi t, smile and feet. However, before you draft strategies, you should know that it depends on the age of your date.
Those aged 20-25 do not care about your eyes, 26-30 do not care about your clothes, 31-35 do not give a damn about your breasts or smile, 41-45 do not give a hoot about clothes, 46-50 will not mind your eyes, clothes and breasts and those above 56 do not care about anything, except your whole and, specifi cally, the eyes.
Respondents who said feet are important were Langi, Madi and Banyankole. The Banyankole even have a prejudice about certain shapes of feet, which they associate with bad luck.
Which personality trait sells you?
Respondents ranked these in the following order: morality, kindness, intelligence, confi dence, ambition, dependability, sensitivity and, fi nally, spontaneity. The differences arose with the gender disparities.
Females rank morality, kindness, confidence, intelligence, followed by dependability, ambition, sensitivity and lastly, spontaneity. Males put kindness after morality, then intelligence, confidence, ambition, dependability, sensitivity and lastly, spontaneity.
How do you prefer to be asked out?
Over half of the respondents wanted the brave option of walking up to someone and verbally asking them out. Eighteen percent said they would not mind an SMS request, 15% wanted it formal with a card and roses, 9% would tolerate an email request, while only 3% want you to use a go-between.
Understandably, apart from the direct request, females prefer a card and roses, followed by an e-mail, then SMS and, lastly, through a friend. Males want the direct request, then SMS, followed by an email and lastly, through a friend.
If your target is above 45 years, an SMS will do. If the date is an Itesot, Mutoro or Mukiga, you can still use a go-between, they will not mind. For the Bagisu, an e-mail is okay and singles said they do not mind a request delivered by a friend.
Most important dating advice
First, be yourself, then humourous, open and courteous. Do not bring a gift and do not be persistent during the conversation. Males’ preference goes from being yourself, to being open, humourous and smell nice. But females want being yourself first, followed by humourous, courteousness, openness and smelling nice. Only the 20-25 year olds would want a gift on the first date.
How long should you wait before asking for sex?
14 percent of the respondents said if the fi rst date is going well, do not wait; ask. These included 20% males and 5% females. Twelve percent of those who are single also had no problem with it.
However, 23% (15% males and 34% females) want sex-free dating till marriage. Eighteen percent said you can ask after two to six months, 14% said after six to 12 months and 13% tied at one month or on the third date.
Most males say as soon as you decide that time is right, just ask, even if it is the fi rst date, but most females say do not ask till the date matures into marriage. Tribes which found no problem with asking for sex on the fi rst date were the Bafumbira and the Itesot. The Madi and Banyoro preferred after one month. The Langi and Basoga said six to 12 months. The Acholi, Batoro and Banyankole preferred two to six months. The Lugbara are fi ne with the third date.
If your date is Born-again, know that the preference will most likely be after marriage. If the date is Catholic, you are safe asking after six to twelve months. The Anglicans said two to six months, while the Muslims want anywhere after the second month.
Best first date
A dinner took almost all the votes. A movie followed, then a drink up, a trip, at home, then beach and lastly, a massage
parlour. However, for men, a woman would probably score better with dinner, followed by a drink, then at home, a trip, movie and the beach, followed by a massage parlour.
For women, dinner comes first, followed by a movie, then a trip, a drink and the beach. None of the females wanted a date at home or a massage. Those who described themselves as single say dinner is best, then a drink. They tie on a movie and trip, followed by home, a massage parlour and lastly, the beach.
Apart from dinner, the 20-35 age group want a movie, 36-40 a drink, 41-45 the beach, 46-50 a movie and above 51, a drink.
Do not take 26-30 year olds or 36-45 for a massage, or 31-35 or above 46 to the beach.
If your date is Born-again, your next bet after dinner is a movie, then a trip. If the date is Catholic, apart from dinner and a movie, a drink will do. If the date is Anglican, apart from dinner and a trip, a drink will do. Surprisingly, Muslims also said they would accept a drink if the dinner failed.
Unacceptable people for a first date
If you are a smoker, respondents said do not dare, although females may be slightly tolerant. Smokers are evenly unacceptable, except slightly among 36-40 and 45-50 age groups. Most of these do not mind a person from a different tribe or religion, poor or a Rastafarian (except among 45-50).