By Timothy Bukumunhe
According to Google, the Egyptians invented the mosquito net. It was and still is a good and cheap invention and as long as malaria continues to reign, the net is here to stay.
However, what the Egyptians did not think about was how to stop the mosquitoes from getting into the net. The other night and feeling all lethargic, I did not have the energy to sit up and roll the net down — a process that would have taken less than five seconds and with little or no effort. But I could not be bothered until the mosquitoes got the better of me.
And with that, I sat up and pulled the net down. All should have been well until at some ungodly hour, I woke up — not because I wanted to wake up, but two or more mosquitoes had gotten into the net and were wreaking havoc on me.
That got me thinking. Which is the better of the two evils — to sleep without a net and get bitten or to sleep with a net that has two or more mosquitoes in it and still get bitten?
I opted for the latter. The following morning, I saw them. The first was so heavy with blood that it barely moved when I shook the net. The other two, equally as heavy, flew straight into the palms of my hand where they met their death. They had so much blood in them that with hindsight I should have taken them to Nakasero blood bank and have them donate my blood.
Moving on, it happened. I was in the depths of Mukono — some place called Kawuga — when my stomach started acting funny that there was an urgent need to be on a toilet. The toilets (pit latrines) that were on hand were not ideal when you have a spot of daios about to erupt.
But there was Plan B. Drive to Jobiah Hotel and use their toilets. The toilets were clean except they were not sit down toilets, but squat toilets and as you all know, the mechanics of squatting, especially when you have daios is no easy affair. There may be a need to hold onto a wall for support and you really cannot linger in there as you can in a sit down toilet where you can have a smoke or even read a book.
In a squat toilet, it is all about doing your stuff and getting out as fast as possible. So there I am, squatting and holding onto a wall for support and worried that the daios spray might go all over the place when I look up and see that somebody has written all over the door. When I say written all over the door, I do not mean the entire length and width of the door, but at squat level!
Pause for thought. What sort of man goes to a squat toilet, squats to do his stuff, has one hand on the wall to steady himself then looks up at the door and just like that, whips out his pen to write his name on the lower half of the door?!
The mind boggles, for to reach the door, there was a need to lean forward, re-adjust the positioning of his legs and hand holding the wall, whip out the pen and think of what to write. And he is doing all this while doing his number two!
Enough of that crap. On a happier note, congratulations go out to Pompi and Winnie who got married last week. Make it work, Pompi!