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Pastor says we are not meant to bePublish Date: Oct 22, 2012
Pastor says we are not meant to be
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In times like these, you need to maintain a healthy communication channel with your fiance
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By Juliet Kasirye

What if I do not agree with the pastor’s vision? Suppose he is wrong?

My pastor has advised me to stop preparations for our wedding ceremony next month. Reason being, he had a vision. But, I do not have the guts to call the wedding off.

If I respect my pastor’s opinion, my relationship will collapse as soon as I break the news to my fiancé Matthew,” discloses Grace Nabulime, a resident of Lufuka Ndejje, Zzana.

I am a staunch Christian. I trust my pastor. In fact, for all the years I have been worshiping in the church, I have never doubted the visions of my pastor. But at this juncture, I do not have the guts to shatter my dreams by letting go of the only man I truly love.

 Since my pastor is not happy about our relationship, I feel worried and hurt. Last month, my pastor called me to his office and said: “During a choir practice, I saw a vision about your future husband.

He is not the right man for you, and if you insist on marrying him, your future is doomed because I see him walking away from the marriage.”

 I was speechless at that moment. I hardly uttered a word. I later called my friend Rose and briefed her about my situation. She consoled me and advised me to follow my heart and decide on what is best for my future.

 Before my pastor had that vision, my relationship was stable. We have been in the relationship for over eight years, and we were planning to get married next month.

When Matthew proposed to me, I felt so blessed and delighted to finally get married.  However, right now, I feel terrified and insecure. Deep down, my conscience tells me that my pastor is wrong about the vision he had.

I am in a dilemma. I do not know whether I should listen to my pastor or take the risk and go ahead with the marriage preparations. Is it possible for my pastor to be biased about my relationship?”

Nabulime’s dilemma sounds unusual, but is common in churches where the pastors regularly communicate  prophecies, visions and dreams. Would you terminate such a relationship because of a vision?

 Martin Ssempa, a pastor at One Love Church, Makerere reveals that some false pastors use the name of God to portray, and communicate their personal opinions, especially if the pastor has interest in the person.

“Such a pastor will go ahead to tell a false vision in order to stop you from marrying the person of your interest. For example, I have heard cases of people who say Yesu akuntumye! (Jesus has sent me to you), he says. 

Ssempa says regarding marriage, the pastor has to counsel the couple by giving them God’s requirements for marriage.
 He urges Christians who are about to get married to be conscious and examine the quality of the person who is revealing a vision which is against their wish. “Besides, God is not a fortune teller,” he adds.

Joseph Musaalo, a counsellor at Uganda Christian University, Mukono says: “It depends on the kind of vision, but in most cases, there is no need to terminate the relationship if you are sure that you have been walking faithfully, you are both serving the same God, and for all the years you have been together, you did not encounter serious challenges.”

The counsellor recommends that if you are in such a dilemma, it is always important to first crosscheck with the word of God.

Former Archibishop of the Church of Uganda, Livingstone Nkoyoyo, says he has had so many experiences of people who come to him, and claim to have talked to God yet they have not received any message. 

Nkoyoyo advises Christians to stop pretending to be fortune tellers. Instead, they should learn to pray for themselves, collaborate and also have close contact with God. They should also avoid relying on an individual.
 

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