MEN’S Say with Bob G. Kisiki
Give it to them; women are one bunch of hardworking folks. You don’t need to follow her all around – from her bedroom to the kitchen, to the road in her monstrous 4x4, the office, the gym and wherever else. Just pick any of these places and you’ll wonder how the woman manages. And there lies the gist of the matter.
Because of the way the world put the woman in a tight spot, denying her identity and then demanding that she performs excellently, she had to come up with coping mechanisms. Aim higher, at least where the man is and have it all.
Yes, it may not be all the women, but you will find a whole chunk of the women’s body aspiring to have it all, because society has made it seem like having less than all is a sign of not being a successful woman.
Trouble is, even the woman who is attempting to have it all will not admit it, because heck, what if they fail? The same society, which set the standards will be on their case, mocking them and their failed attempts.
Yet she will still try to have it all. Have a fine body, alongside working all day, which strains the body. Have a [successful] marriage, alongside a full-time job.
Have children, while at the same time spending time in the gym (our good body) and with the girls (I need my sanity about me).
The have-it-all search is a one for happiness for the average woman, yet it is the surest path to her ceding of that happiness. And no, not because it is a man’s world. We already sorted that out – this is a woman’s world, whatever else women want to say.
The reason no woman who wants to have it all won’t be happy is that she will discover that the person who propounded the theory of opportunity cost wasn’t high on crack. Either you have a happening career and give up on a great marriage with well-raised children, or settle for family and have a job that just keeps you going.
Men too face that challenge. Either he worships his job and returns home to a sulking wife and unruly children or he has a happy family and a boss who watches him below the lenses of his spects every time he enters office.
So why should it be different for women? You can’t want to keep Grace Canada’s kind of body and shape at 50, and still insist on being the mother of six adorable children
Oh yes, you can, but only if you got the children from Sanyu Babies Home in Mengo. C’mon, this is not even rocket science. So when you break yourself in the process, trying to attain standards you didn’t even set for yourself, attaining it all… how can you then say it is a men’s world, and the man is standing in my way? Look, decisions are made in the privacy of the mind, and nobody has access to your mind.
People wonder why there are bigger rifts between men and women now than in the past. Or why wonder about the higher rate of flailing marriages?
While the guy is still the keep-away-from-home, spend-lots-on-trifles, hang-out-with-the-girls, dress-anyhow dude that he always was, you, his girlfriend, wife, boss, whatever, you’re trying to become many things, some of which you didn’t even know existed before you started hanging out with your current clique.
Listen sis. I can put this in the simplest of ways: You can’t have it all.