By Maureen Nakatudde

To some parents, it is always mixed with joy and tears, while for others, it is always tears and guilt. Some parents are tempted to withdraw their children from school after seeing them cry their hearts out.

Michael Kimuli, a head teacher at Model Nursery and Primary School, Mugongo, says you can save the tears on the first day by preparing their children adequately. “Do not just take the child to school the very first time,” he cautions. “The child must have prior knowledge of where they are going. Tell them they are going to meet other children who are also going to learn,” Kimuli says.

He also advises that parents must teach their children the behaviour expected at school. “If your child likes fighting with other children, tell them school is an organised place, where children learn and, therefore, no fighting is expected.

Talk to your children about how they will have a specific schedule of eating and drinking, unlike at home, where they always eat what they want, regardless of the time,” he says. This will help them to control themselves in case of hunger.

Public manners
A parent must teach the child what to do at school, For instance, if the child wants to visit the toilet, he should not fear, as he will spoil his clothes.

The parents should advise the child to ask for permission from the teachers to avoid embarrassment. Also, the parents should always give a handkerchief to the children if they have flu or cough to clean themselves.

If your child is shy, going out in public and being left alone for the very first time may be a challenge. George Opiro, an assistant commissioner, counsellor and social worker at the education ministry, says children look at their mothers and siblings as a source of security. Taking them to school, is removing them from their security, which makes it a challenge.

On the very first day, when they go with you at school they may think: “We are going with mummy and daddy, and we are going to stay together,” but when they see you leave them with a stranger, that can be the onset of unending wails.

“For a child who is always at home with his or her parents, their first day at school is always traumatising,” Opiro says. To avoid such scenarios, the parents should start moving them to communal places.

“Help them start socialising with other children by taking them to Sunday school. Move with the children to social places such as playgrounds

” By doing so, you are preparing your child to join another society. When you take them outside to play, excuse yourself to buy a soda, and do not return immediately. When they notice you are not coming, they will learn to be strong and wait for you without tantrums as they play with their new friends. There you would be teaching them to cope in life without your support.

 Besides that, what kind of facilities do you have at home? If you have a latrine and you are taking a child to a school which has a flush toilet, beware that a child will fear it. Opiro says: “Anything which is different is enough to disorganise a child.”

Prepare your child in advance. You can visit the school premises together and explain to them the type of toilets and how they operate. In that way, when they appear at school, that will not be new and they will cope very well.

There are some children who will not be in for school however much you prepare them. Kimuli advises to put them in the mood by going shopping with them for their school bags, shoes, uniforms and containers.

“The bag and container should be very attractive for the child to make him or her anxious to join school. You can take the excitement of joining school a notch higher by packing the container and the bottle in the bag with the child,” Kimuli says. In addition to that, you can make the child try on the uniform. That way, the child will be very eager to join school and his or her first day at school will be good.

However, all that can come to an end, if you take your child to school very early in the morning between 5:00am and 6:00am. This normally happens to children who are taken in buses that maneuver many routes in and around the suburbs, before they reach school. They often reach tired, which kills their morale for education quite early.

“On the first day, they will be excited and even wake you up, but as the days go by, the child will have gotten used to everything and will see no use of continuing with school,” Kimuli says.

He, therefore, advises that you to take the child to schools that are near their homes or those whose hours are friendly to children. Remember, when you reach school; socialise with the teacher before sending off the child. In that way, when you leave, the child will know that he or she is in good hands.

Make sure you give the teacher the correct name of the child; sometimes parents call a child a different name at home and at school. Talking to the teacher in front of the child will clear all the confusion.

Parents’ experiences
Margaret Kemigabo, business woman
My daughter, Monica Namala, who is now in Primary Two was four years when I took her to school. When she reached school, she started crying, I had not talked to her about the importance of school.

At school, she did not want to stay with the teacher at all. So, I befriended one teacher and gave her biscuits to give me daughter. Later, Monica stopped crying and was anxious to go to school because she had a friend who was the teacher. 

Roselyn JM Nyangazi, country manager IPP
My children were all very happy to join school. Since I had bought for them uniforms and new dresses, they were so excited to join school. And when they got to Mbuya Nursery School, they were so happy to meet the white Catholic nus.

There was never a day they returned home sad. At school, they would be given free things by the nuns like biscuits and they would play the whole day for those in baby class.

In that kindergarten, the first year was specifically for playing. So, by the time the child left kindergarten, he or she was really good. Often, children cry at school because they have not been prepared enough, but it was not the case with mine. I emphasised the fact that they go to school to learn and if they did something bad, they would be punished.

Lorna Latti, housewife

When I took my first child to school, I was so disturbed. The child cried as if I had done something wrong to her. I tried to comfort her, but it was not a success. Later, I left her with the teacher crying and I felt bad. She spent the whole week crying, until she got used to a teacher, who became her friend.