How to deal with a nagging wife

May 02, 2016

If your wife's nagging is getting to you, there are various ways to cope.

Nagging is a frequent complaint of married couples. It is a cycle of behavior that usually starts if one party feels nagging is the only way to get what he or she wants. If your wife's nagging is getting to you, there are various ways to cope.

In the moment, stay calm and respectful and, if necessary, disengage. In the future, however, work on addressing big picture issues and making small changes with the goal of cultivating a happier, more harmonious household.

Pick your battles. If you feel your wife nags too much, consider how much a given situation bothers you. Sometimes, it's better to let certain things go.

You wife may sometimes nag about small, seemingly insignificant tasks. You may leave dishes in the living room or not hang up your wet towel after showering. Are these tasks really a huge hassle for you? If not, it may be easiest just to agree with your wife's criticisms and try to remember in the future.

Disengage emotionally. If you get frustrated by your wife's nagging, you may end up saying something you don't mean. In anger, you might point out her flaws or nag her back. These are not effective means of addressing the issue and will only serve to escalate the situation.

Therefore, if you feel yourself getting frustrated it may be best to temporarily disengage. Remind yourself you have a choice of whether or not to argue. Then remain silent and take a moment to think before you speak. If you feel you can't remain calm, ask that your wife allow you to revisit the issue later

Walk away from the situation. Sometimes, it's difficult to emotionally disengage when you and your wife are in the same room. Some space may allow both of you to cool down and reevaluate the situation. Go run some errands, walk the dog, go for a bike ride, or anything really to get some space between yourself and your wife. This may give you both time to calm down, allowing you to better address the situation later.

Be willing to look at your own behavior. People often have a tendency to see nagging as solely the problem of the nagger. However, rarely are conflicts solely one person's problem. If your wife has legitimate concerns or frustrations, acknowledge them in the moment.

Is there something you're doing consistently that bothers your wife? Even if it's small, it might not seem small to her. Small changes to your behavior could mean a lot to your wife. In the moment, try to see where you could have hurt your wife's feelings and see if you could do better in the future.

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