Avoid gossiping

Nov 12, 2014

Though gossip can be found in families, the work place, schools, churches and clubs, it ought to be viewed as a high risk activity because it has the potential to be harmful, even when the gossip may be true.

trueBy Rev.Fr. John William Twinomujuni

Though gossip can be found in families, the work place, schools, churches and clubs, it ought to be viewed as a high risk activity because it has the potential to be harmful, even when the gossip may be true.

Gossip needn’t be false to be evil. There is a lot of truth that needn’t be passed around.

According to the Bible,” Do not go about spreading slander among your people” (Leviticus 19:16).

The triple filter test

Socrates, the ancient Greek Philosopher, was once stopped by a colleague who began a conversation saying, “Do you know what I just heard about your friend?” Socrates interrupted the man to say,” at the risk of appearing rude, may I ask you to pass a small test.

I call it the triple filter test. Curious, the colleague listened as Socrates explained the triple filter.

The first filter is truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true? When the man said” no, I just heard about it”, Socrates said,” All right. So you don’t really know if it’s true or not.

Let’s try the second filter which is goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good? Again the man said,” no, quite the opposite”. Socrates continued,” so you want to tell me something bad about him, but you are not certain it’s true.

You can still pass this test though because of the final filter, and this is filter of usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me? Once again the man, probably embarrassed, said, “no, not really”.

Socrates concluded with this point, “well, if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”

Consequences of gossip

Relationships are harmed, sometimes irreversibly. Think about yourself: How would you feel about a good friend when you learn he has shared confidential information about you?

Trust is eroded, even destroyed and your credibility can be impacted. Do you want to be known as a gossip?

If others perceive you as a untrustworthy or unable to keep confidence they will stay away from you or keep all conversation on a very superficial level. Your relationship will lack depth and authenticity.

You may suffer emotionally. As yourself how you feel after you have engaged in gossip. It can leave you feeling guilty, uneasy, anxious, and regretful. All these are negative emotions which can create stress and even physical problems.

Theological foundations: According to the Bible,” the prudent man keeps quiet”( Amos5:13).So before you talk about someone try reminding yourself that once it is unleashed it can’t be reined in. No matter how much you regret what you said, gossip is often irrevocable.

Do not participate in gossip, for “without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down” (Proverbs 26:20).When hearing  gossip you have several positive options: do not say anything; walk away; give visual cues that you are uncomfortable or uninterested; and definitely do not pass along what you heard. Keep it to yourself.

There are times when we hear something very upsetting, and want to unburden by sharing it. This ought to be done only with the closest of confidants such as partner or a very good friend.

As a conclusion, do not let your words ruin others, your career or personal relationships; if you are talking about people behind their backs, your words say more about you than about them.

 

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});