Keep a close eye on your child

By Maureen Nakatudde
Ketty Nandi, the assistant Police superintendent in Kampala and head of the family unit, says while the defilement rates are low in the community, they are high among family members.

 “They are low in the community because during the festive season, the Police are vigilant. So, all the would-be culprits keep away,” she explains.

“They are also lost in the euphoria of the season with the shopping and entertainment. So, there is no time to engage in reckless behaviour.”

Despite that, Nandi warns that after the festive season, cases of defilement increase. She says this is because by the time the season ends, the Police are not as involved.

Parents are, therefore, advised to watch out for their children all the time.

Nandi also says defilement cases are high among relatives during the festive season.

Relatives sometimes travel to the city to celebrate Christmas with their family who might not have adequate accommodation.

So, the children find themselves sharing a bed or room with relatives. That is when someone encroaches on them. 
In addition to that, parents are called upon not to leave their children in the hands of relatives.

Not everyone has good intentions at heart, and what can a parent do when they are not present?

Besides that, letting children travel on their own at odd hours of the day can put them at risk of defilement.

Nandi gives an example of two girls (10 and 12) who were travelling from Mbarara and got to Kampala late.

The driver advised them to sleep in the bus so that they could continue their journey in the morning.

The tout took advantage of the driver’s absence and defiled the 12-year-old.

Parents are caught up in the buzz around the festive season, and unconsciously let down their guard.

This is the only time of the year parents allow their children to attend all sorts of concerts and get-togethers organised for children on holiday.

Nandi cautions that is like putting your children directly into the hands of defilers. Furthermore, children should avoid being swept up by negative peer pressure. Nandi says when girls and boys go for karaoke nights in the pubs, men take advantage of them.

They are given alcohol, and in the end, a man can have his way with her.

In rural areas, defilement is disguised in the early marriages.

“Apparently, the father fails to get money for the festive season. He wants to buy clothes for his wife and provide food at home. What better way to get the money than offer his daughter for marriage?” Nandi asks.

Early marriages are illegal. If any child is forced into it, she should report to the Police, local chairperson or any other         authority,” Nandi urges. “They can also call on 08000111222 or 0714667772 for help.”

Prevention tips
Keep a close eye on the children.

Accompany the children or have some grown up go with them in case they are going to hang out.

Do not allow relatives to share beds with them.

Establish a curfew so that children are out of danger at night.

Make sure they mention where they are going and who they are going to be with.

Do not forget the boys

Can boys be defiled? Does anyone care, or pay attention?

Nandi says the problem is that most boys suffer silently. “Very few are willing to talk about it,” she notes.

Last year, a garbage collector was imprisoned for defiling a street boy of 10 years. According to Nandi, at night when all the other street children were sleeping at night, this man would carry off the boy and sodomise him.

Luckily, some Good Samaritans saw the boy limping and brought the matter to the Police.
Unfortunately, the boy tested HIV-positive. Nandi reveals that the street boys had to be transferred from the children’s reception centre to another area, since the victim was trying out what he had learnt on other innocent boys.

Aside from that, young boys are being sodomised in boarding schools by their peers, but no one seems to take notice.

Yet, young boys, like girls, need help. In addition to sodomy, some women force young boys into sex. This can be a stepmother, the housemaids and older relatives.

Nandi recalls a case of a 25-year-old teacher who forced a 10-year-old boy into having sex.

She advises that parents should not completely trust older women with their sons.

Nandi advises boys to seek help from the nearest authority, seek medical help within 72 hours or go to the nearest hospital for check-up.

Winnie Kalyesubula, a counsellor, advises young boys to report any form of inappropriate touches, especially around the genitals.

She adds that a young boy should be weary of ‘free’ gifts from men and older women, or report the matter to his parents.