Leaving a mark on a child’s early years

Mar 30, 2010

PARENTING is a responsibility that does not end at home. Sending your child to kindergarten does not mean surrendering your role to the teachers. A 1996 Georgia State University survey showed that parental involvement at home and school increased academic achievement in maths and language skills, so

By Jamesa Wagwau

PARENTING is a responsibility that does not end at home. Sending your child to kindergarten does not mean surrendering your role to the teachers. A 1996 Georgia State University survey showed that parental involvement at home and school increased academic achievement in maths and language skills, social skills and motivation for kindergarten children.

Getting involved in a child’s development
-Watch your words: Do not yell the instructions or murmur words while walking away. This models poor communication. Children feel respected when instructions are given to them from a close range and in the right tone. After giving the instructions allow the child to carry out the task.

Doing the work yourself without teaching the child how to do it better, lowers the child’s self-esteem. Keep the instructions simple and clear. Young children can only conceptualize one or two subjects at a time.

Address the child by name. Our identity is closely tied to our names and we feel respected when we are addressed by name. Addressing the child by name carries a message of ‘this is your information and you better listen.’

Quality time is golden in parenting. Children value the time you spend with them than that expensive toy. They understand concepts and actions emotionally. A kindergarten child does not understand the words ‘I love you’ as much as they understand a hug, a peck or a tender back rub. Communicate your love in the language the child understands best.

Understand that discipline should teach but not punish. It is setting limits with both firmness and kindness. Shouting at your child, spanking, pinching, or hitting are counterproductive styles of instilling discipline.

Respect is demonstrated, not lectured. A child learns to respect others only when he is respected. Show respect for your child so that he can learn respect for others.

Parent- school communication is important. Have a chat with the teacher while dropping off or picking up the child from school or call the teacher regularly and find out how your child is doing.

Reinforce the desired behaviour by giving the compliments immediately. Do mix the child and behaviour in your compliments. Say ‘I like the way you have excused yourself and requested to be allowed to join your brothers’ in their play.

Do not say ‘I like you because you have learnt how to excuse yourself’. With or without the best conduct she or he remains your child and has to be accepted and loved. Remember, social and emotional skills are learnt through example.
The writer is a counsellor

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