Breathe new life into your relationship

Apr 02, 2010

AS Christians celebrate Jesus Christ’s resurrection from the dead, lovers should also seize this moment to restore love that may be going or has gone in their relationships.

AS Christians celebrate Jesus Christ’s resurrection from the dead, lovers should also seize this moment to restore love that may be going or has gone in their relationships. MAUREEN NAKATUDDE sought reader’s views on how couples can breathe new life into their love

Rev. Godfrey Musisi in Mukono explains that couples need to express their love with touch, even if it is not leading to sex. Musisi also believes good grooming is important. “Keep looking appealing to your partner.”

Susan Opio who has been married for 30 years says love letters are the way to go. “Although an email or SMS can convey the same message, a letter has a personal touch.”

Pastor Isaac Ntale, who is also a marriage counsellor, says the trick is recalling what you did when you had just met. “Do what you did then. ‘Re-date’ each other. Express love often, be courteous, dress and behave well. Endeavour to impress one another as much as possible”

If there are any conflicts, air them out. Let the guilty party confess, and the victim, forgive because no one is perfect. It is only when one releases all the bitterness, that they can love each other again.

Exchange gifts, for instance, on Easter and other important days. Ntale explains that a gift shows your partner that you think about them. “It does not have to be costly; it can just be a handkerchief or a sweet. However small they are, they mean a lot to your partner.”  Remember, if you don’t offer gifts, somebody else may, he cautions.

Sometimes children, who are a gift from God, have a negative impact on the marriage. Sabrina Wantante, a counsellor at Makerere Full Gospel Church, says the arrival of children affects all couples. They may spend more time with the children than their partner. “Partners should use children to strengthen their marriage and not to break it.”

For love to fully blossom, she advises couples to understand their partner’s love language. Give your partner what makes them feel loved. It can be a kiss, a hug or romantic words, or gifts she says.

Occasionally, relax from your serious schedules and skip, run or play hide and seek as a couple. If possible involve the children as well.

Always speak well of your partner, even when things are not okay. Talk about what is hurting your marriage with a trusted friend or a counsellor. Airing your dirty linen in public only worsens the problem.

Always attend functions like weddings, funerals, seminars and outings together. These will help you bond.

Religion has an important place in marriage. Always practice your religion together. When you go to church or mosque together, you may get a solution to some of the marital problems you may be having, hence rekindling your love.

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