The man I would avoid
Apr 08, 2011
IF I was a woman, I would never marry this man. There is a man in our area I will call GoU (Government of Uganda).
By Hilary Bainemigisha
IF I was a woman, I would never marry this man. There is a man in our area I will call GoU (Government of Uganda).
He is gifted by nature, has enough strength to destabilise neighbours and is rumoured to be wealthy, or at least, about to dive into the oil swimming pool. All political girls around are falling over themselves to get his hand in marriage.
But not me! I can never marry a man whose money hands leak, whose idea of goodwill is to forgive debtors and thieves, who ignores domestic problems to throw lavish parties and whose pockets have a little witch that is overqualified in the disappearing act tricks.
From a distance, GoU is impressively located among the lavishing guys club like Saudi princes, Arab Emirates, Gadaffi (that is until recently), Meddie Sentongo and Rubeleto.
As his girlfriend, you look forward to having enough money to fill Uganda’s potholes - and that is a lot of money, but when you arrive, the seat becomes hotter.
Many of us actually base on people’s extravagance to marry them. Or, if we are too male to marry them, force our daughters into their bedrooms.
That looks like an assured straw into the capo’s purse. And should the G-nut on the kamasu (rat-trap) work effectively, we or our daughters see the wedding/marriage as an inheritance of all manner of funds - not limited to Global, GAVI, CHOGM and National Social Security Fund.
But if you have been a keen follower of Uganda’s history, you must have not missed the fact that anything that had ‘Fund’ in it, ended up creating corruption stories for the media. So marrying into something-fund may not mean bliss. It actually and very often, means fliss (fliss is actually not in any English dictionary. But if it was, I would want it to mean something fearfully terrible).
As soon as Beloved becomes wife, the situation changes and almost immediately. Few wives are comfortable with their husband’s extravagance. Suddenly the husband’s wealth becomes family resources with different prime stakeholders, especially the children (even when the marriage has no children yet. Women are masters of planning in advance).
The woman, whose idea of fun used to be spending the rich man’s money, suddenly starts frowning at any extravagance and makes it her project to tame the husband into a responsible living thing.
This is usually not as easy as it sounds. Many wives fail because many husbands think the women are scared of Independents in marriages. And indeed, often, someone else comes into the picture and takes up the wife’s position in eating cash.
So, I prefer to stay out of the chaos where one Bassajja is given free money to bail him out of death, only for him to return taking us to court demanding billions and the money is given again when I, the wife, don’t have fuel for my car, money for food, drugs in hospitals and classroom structures.
I would rather marry a man who thinks thrice before spending his money and does not easily forgive debtors. One who considers his family first and spends the balance on friends.
Though, sadly, I cannot do this because I am a man.
IF I was a woman, I would never marry this man. There is a man in our area I will call GoU (Government of Uganda).
He is gifted by nature, has enough strength to destabilise neighbours and is rumoured to be wealthy, or at least, about to dive into the oil swimming pool. All political girls around are falling over themselves to get his hand in marriage.
But not me! I can never marry a man whose money hands leak, whose idea of goodwill is to forgive debtors and thieves, who ignores domestic problems to throw lavish parties and whose pockets have a little witch that is overqualified in the disappearing act tricks.
From a distance, GoU is impressively located among the lavishing guys club like Saudi princes, Arab Emirates, Gadaffi (that is until recently), Meddie Sentongo and Rubeleto.
As his girlfriend, you look forward to having enough money to fill Uganda’s potholes - and that is a lot of money, but when you arrive, the seat becomes hotter.
Many of us actually base on people’s extravagance to marry them. Or, if we are too male to marry them, force our daughters into their bedrooms.
That looks like an assured straw into the capo’s purse. And should the G-nut on the kamasu (rat-trap) work effectively, we or our daughters see the wedding/marriage as an inheritance of all manner of funds - not limited to Global, GAVI, CHOGM and National Social Security Fund.
But if you have been a keen follower of Uganda’s history, you must have not missed the fact that anything that had ‘Fund’ in it, ended up creating corruption stories for the media. So marrying into something-fund may not mean bliss. It actually and very often, means fliss (fliss is actually not in any English dictionary. But if it was, I would want it to mean something fearfully terrible).
As soon as Beloved becomes wife, the situation changes and almost immediately. Few wives are comfortable with their husband’s extravagance. Suddenly the husband’s wealth becomes family resources with different prime stakeholders, especially the children (even when the marriage has no children yet. Women are masters of planning in advance).
The woman, whose idea of fun used to be spending the rich man’s money, suddenly starts frowning at any extravagance and makes it her project to tame the husband into a responsible living thing.
This is usually not as easy as it sounds. Many wives fail because many husbands think the women are scared of Independents in marriages. And indeed, often, someone else comes into the picture and takes up the wife’s position in eating cash.
So, I prefer to stay out of the chaos where one Bassajja is given free money to bail him out of death, only for him to return taking us to court demanding billions and the money is given again when I, the wife, don’t have fuel for my car, money for food, drugs in hospitals and classroom structures.
I would rather marry a man who thinks thrice before spending his money and does not easily forgive debtors. One who considers his family first and spends the balance on friends.
Though, sadly, I cannot do this because I am a man.