I know am handsome - Oulanya

Publication date: Thursday, 25th May, 2006

COMEDIAN: Oulanya wants to learn all the languages in the world

Jimmy Okoth a.k.a Oulanya Columbus presents The Beat on UBC TV and co-hosts the Bigger Breakfast on Capital FM. He talked to Elizabeth Namazzi about his life. Below are excerpts

Question: What was Jimmy the kid like?
Very cheeky. I went to Nakasero Primary School and I used to play football after school. We used to remove one shoe to make goal posts; One day, I returned home without my shoe and my mother pulled my ear from home to school and ordered me to look for it.

Why did you give up your Law course?
I was negligent. I abandoned the course after four years. I had two re-takes but I just felt like not doing them. Fortunately, I am back to my senses, studying seriously.

Who is your favourite local musician?
I think it is more about the music than the artiste. I do not want people to attack me for not choosing them. But you wouldn’t expect me to be a kadongokamu fan.

At least there is someone whose voice you like...
For that, I would categorise only females because there isn’t a man with a nice voice in Uganda. For the females, Juliana Kanyomozi does it for me.

Do you wear torn stockings?
Of course...everyone has torn stockings. If even Tiger Woods wears them, why not me? And by the way, I always wear stockings whether they are torn or not.

Do your bad moods affect your radio/TV shows?
Never. You have to get yourself together on such days. With radio, you can have a bad day and nobody notices. But you have to make sure it doesn’t show when you are on TV because it will turn off viewers.

How did you learn so many languages?
I have interacted with many people although there is no language I speak more fluently than my mother tongue. I have one dream though: to be able to speak all the languages on earth.

Do you really think you are handsome?
I don’t just think; I know I’m handsome. If I were to rate myself, I would blow it over the roof and award myself over 100.

Where do you buy your clothes?
I go as far as Owino market. It is rare that I buy new clothes because they always have faults. I love basketball, so I can’t waste money on new stockings. And for shoes, I just go to Owino, buy a pair of canvas shoes – which I use for everything.

Even your underwear is from Owino?
Of course that has to be new. I can’t go to Owino and start looking for underwear, even if it is very cheap. All my underwear is new.

Why does Oulanya have two wives?
I’m doing it for a good cause. Women are many...There is no reason of making one woman happy when there is a sad one somewhere.

And Jimmy...how many girlfriends does he have?
Jimmy has a girlfriend who is still being modelled to fit my ideal kind of wife. It wouldn’t make sense to complete my studies, make money, reach my 30’s and start grooming a woman to be the kind of wife I want.

What’s your dream wife like?
I need a woman who will control me, appreciate my likes and dislikes and do the things I can’t do. Sometimes I forget to shave my beard, so my wife should tell me to shave whether I’m up to it or not. I also can’t stay in the house unless I have good music and movies (comedy and adventure) so my wife has to make me stay home without them.

Are you stalked by women?
Yeah...Ido. Some of them get really offensive, especially when I try to be nice to them and they fail to get the point. I end up brushing them off. At one point, I changed my phone number – I wonder where they got it from. I finally gave up and decided to stick to one number. But wait a minute (smiling)... you are abusing my rights by insisting on women...I might be gay...

Are you gay?
(Laughs out loud) Hell no...I would fight the guy immediately. I do get positive comments from men about my work, but they all mean well.