Saggy’s wacky world

IF you look closely, you will notice that there’s a sudden euphoria blanketing this pearly land of ours. I thought it had something to do with the forthcoming CHOGM, wapi.

Some people who describe themselves as hard men have peeped underneath our country and they can swear that Uganda is well endowed with oil reservoirs to the tune of producing over 10,000 barrels of oil daily.

This news has excited many a Ugandan including Taata Muhoozi him-u-se-lef. In fact sources tell me that the President almost took a sip of the oil when a sample was presented to him. Mbu to him, I looked as thick as eshabwe. He was only refrained by one of his bodyguards, though this story was not confirmed by press time.

Ugandans might be over the moon over this discovery, but I feel nothing about the oil reservoirs in this country. You don’t have to be an Alur to know the problems related to having oil in your country. We all know what oil has done to the children and women of Iraq, we all know how Ken Saro Wiwa died and now the same cause of misery in the world has been discovered in Uganda and Ugandans are happy? Come oooon get a life!

If this so-called oil discovery materialises, don’t be surprised when the Americans begin taking special interest in our country. We shall be accused of harbouring Al Quaeda insurgents (one of our boys was recently released from guantanamo bay) and next thing, President Museveni will be accused of committing war crimes in Mukura and Luweero, then they will liken him to Osama bin Laden and then bombs will be raining on us like manna from heaven and then some American company will be drilling oil in Western Uganda! Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Even then, the people behind the oil prospects in western Uganda have an interesting name in HARDMAN resources. To be sincere that name sounds like a bad thing. Look, you give yourself an interesting name; penetrate a poor third world country (Uganda) just to DRILL oil? I have really ha-ha-d.

How long are we going to have foreigners telling us how to run our country (did I hear a rat squeak at Nakasero?) ooops I meant how long are we going to have foreigners drilling oil in our country? When are Ugandans also going to drill for fellow Ugandans?

I really smell a rat around these oil drillers. How come the oil is only drilled in Western Uganda? For example I would be glad if the oil was drilled in Nebbi, but these chaps only do it in Western Uganda. Is it because Western Uganda is the only part of this country gifted by nature?

I swear they are socialists – basosola!