Tina Musuya is the Executive Director of Centre for Domestic Violence Prevention, an organisation fighting domestic violence. Rehema Aanyu chatted with her
Who is Tina Musuya?
I am an activist for women’s rights and a socialist, who loves to see fairness to women. Women cannot have sex the way they want, use the protection they prefer or get the number of children they want.
People say women activists are disgruntled lovers. Are you?
That is a misconception aimed at keeping us from our agenda. If there is anyone who lives a fulfilled and happy life, it’s me.
Then why all the fuss? The Bible says a woman should be submissive to her husband. I do not know about that but I will give you a metaphor. Human kind is like a bird in flight. Both wings must flap at the same time. When one wing is injured, the bird cannot fly. We are equally important in life. A man is not doing me a favour by being in a relationship with me. Likewise, I am not doing him a favour by being his lover. It’s about mutual respect, dignity and co-existence.
Ever been abused by a man?
No, I have never. I do not hate men. Women activists do not hate men, but see them as husbands, fathers, brothers and uncles.
But some women are to blame for the violence.
Yes! Many women keep quiet when they are abused. They make excuses for the men who beat them up. Maybe if they talked to someone, they would be helped. Don’t wait for him to slap you again. Make it clear to him that you are not his punching bag.
Would you do that?
Beating me is a crime. I would take him straight to police. I love myself so much and I would want to be treated like a queen. When a relationship begins to cause me worry, there is no point in being in it. I have the power to my body and every right to define my relationship with my partner.
I go into the relationship for love not violence. Gone are the days when men were defined by aggression. Aggressive men need to change in order to live fulfilled lives and enjoy better sex with their partners.
