Hilary Bainemigisha

If you are Muhwezi, you may be spitting curses into microphones about workers’ money buying wetlands. And if you are Tinkasiimire, you will be arguing that no layman is qualified enough to call a landscape a wetland. But if you are me, you will be distracted from the NSSF saga with a stunning offer of another wetland, this time cheaper at sh2.5b.

It is not another Temangalo. It is the Italian former Big Brother contestant, who has put her virginity up for sale at one million euros (sh2.5b) — but nobody should tell NSSF guys about it.

Raffaele Fico, 20, swore that her virginity is not kiwaani and even brought her brother as a witness. “She’s never had a boyfriend,” he said. “I swear on my mother’s grave. Fico is a devout Catholic who prays through Padre Pio every night.”

Fico, who hails from Naples, told glossy Italian weekly Chi that she cannot wait to see who is going to pull out the money.

She says she was abandoning the A of the ABC because she was tired of landlords. She is described as a gorgeous woman who has posed for several magazines, producing very sexy pictures.

I hope the Police are now plotting possible links between the spate of robberies at Bank of Baroda and Hotel Equatoria last week to this offer. Someone could be preparing to invest in virginity destruction.

But let us face it; losing virginity is such a big deal. It should not just pass as quietly as MP Odit’s departure to Iceland. It is a bridge that unleashes you to adult life of responsibility, high risk and accountability.

Under normal circumstances, it should be done under the most favourable conditions which should include — but not limited to — peace of mind, right time, conducive environment, red carpet, and a 21 gun salute. That is why society confines it to marriage.

But think about the time you handed over your virginity. And I will give you one minute of silence for this: Where were you? Was it by the roadside, amidst soldier ants, behind school toilets, in a drunken state, with some cigarette reeking stranger, or a guy older than your grandfather? Arrgh! You lost your chance of entering adulthood with dignity. You will never get it back.

Of course there are those unfortunate ones who are defiled, raped or allocated as wives to warlords. Their fate was not in their hands and people should know that breaking someone’s virginity without their consent is worse than murder.

Culprits are just lucky I am not God.
If you really do not want to remember your D-day, you probably need to atone for it. Tune your life for the better and your sins will be forgiven.

If you still have it, you have something dear. Plan big for the day you will hand it over. Do not start those stories of ‘one thing led to another and before I knew it.’’ Everything should be planned and wow.

But do not be like the money hungry destitute who want to reap where they did not sow. Early this month, Natalie Dylan, 22, auctioned her virginity at Nevada’s famous brothel BunnyRanch.

The highest bidder camped with this graduate in women’s studies who said she needed the money to pay for her masters in marriage and family counselling

In 2005, a Peruvian model, 18, put herself up for sale for $1.5m (sh2.47b) saying she needed to pay her family’s medical bills. When someone showed up, she developed cold feet and turned down the money.

Then a Manchester University student, Carys Copestake, 18, asked for 10,000 pounds (sh16.5m). She reportedly got a buyer but refused to divulge the details.

I guess we are in the last days. the Bible says just before this world comes to pass, we shall see people investing sinful amounts of money on unusual things like virginity, CHOGM, Temangalo, football, artistes and the unending Northern bypass.