Dear Doctor,
Will I be able to get married? I am aged 30, HIV-positive and a single mother but have failed to get married since I want a man of my status who will not interrupt my treatment and is willing to have protected sex. How do I get a man who is HIV-positive?
Julian

Dear Juliana,
CONGRATULATIONS on overcoming denial and anger and accepting that you are living with HIV. By choosing to live positively while protecting yourself and others from being infected, you are practicing positive health dignity and prevention.

It is your right to desire marriage and a family. There are many people in your situation. The right thing is to overcome fear and shame and share your feelings with a counsellor or a health service provider you trust.

There might be a man out there looking for a woman of your qualities. Most HIV/AIDS service organisations have now realised that the sexual and reproductive health needs of their clients need to be addressed and have made arrangements for people living with HIV and are looking for partners can meet.

At Mildmay Uganda, we have such an arrangement and a few of our clients have been able to find love and be loved again.

We now know that people living with HIV who are on ARVs with good adherence leading to maximal viral suppression can be in sexual relationships with spouses who are HIV negative without much risk, so long as they are prepared to use condoms correctly whenever they have sex.

So, you can marry and enjoy a good life with an HIV-positive or negative man as long as there is mutual agreement.