Face HIV with Dr. Watiti

Dear Doctor,
I have a boyfriend with whom I have been relating for a year. We have been thinking of getting married and so we went for an HIV test. Surprisingly, he was HIV-positive and I was negative but we have decided to get married. However, my boyfriend has failed to use condoms as advised by our counsellor. Each time he puts it on, he loses erection and has now resorted to withdrawing. Do I still risk getting infected since my boyfriend does not spill his sperms inside me?
Evelyn

Dear Evelyn,
HIV discordance is fairly common and because it is not often understood and handled well, it is one of the reasons why most of the new infections are among married or co-habiting couples.

Condoms when used correctly and consistently reduce the risk of HIV transmission significantly. The method you are using, also known as “coitus interruptus” will not protect you because the pre-ejaculate fluid from your partner has HIV.

Your partner should also be assessed and if he is eligible for ARVs, he should start taking them because people living with HIV who are on antiretroviral therapy with good adherence have a maximally suppressed viral load; therefore they are not as infective as those who are not.