I fingered and fingered her but all I could see was a blank face. I wondered whether it was one of her mood swings where she freezes without any apparent reason.

I utilised all the tricks in the book of computer seduction, but she just ogled at me like a dog would do to a wad of one million dollars! There was no expression at all, no sounds, nothing.

What was wrong with my darling? Just a few months ago she was this happy woman and all of a sudden she had mutated into this gloomy chic. Now don’t be silly, I am talking about DELL-ilah, my precious desktop at Bullseye! Creative on 82 Kiira Road.

Someone with an agenda only known to themselves took time to sit down, unscrew this Michael Dell brainchild and scamper away with her hard-drive.

I had entrusted Dell-lilah with all my precious information, all my confidential stuff, my projects, your favourite column n’ebigenderako and some lunatic pre-meditatively takes it upon themselves to steal the hard-drive. In fact when DELL-ilah started behaving funny I spirited her to Charles, a computer surgeon at Clem Investments on Buganda Road and as soon as Charles dissected her CPU, he noticed that her hard drive was amiss.

More like a doctor telling you that your patient has no heart. Immediately I went into a trance wondering which fool screwed me on this one. I called up all the suspects (they had spare keys to the office) and they all denied knowledge about the same.

Now I have to contend with clients calling off the hook about their work being done on time and you cannot tell them anything about the hard drive coz they rightly do not want to know.

Now to you (yes, I know you) who stole that hard drive, I don’t know what your motive is ,but please don’t bring it back. I am not missing it! You think you have tripped an individual but you have forgotten that to trip is not to fall! I had all those files backed up on a harder drive that rests somewhere under my cranium! Well, you can keep the hard drive if it gives you a hard-on! I have now learned that when you part ways with people, you also need to part ways with door locks. I am so slow!!

But on the other hand, why the heck am I grumbling about something as mere as a hard drive, the other day Ugandans woke up to the news that the files implicating Dr. Kizza Besigye in the treason case had taken a Jamaican bus ride! Lt. Migadde Semakula’s espionage works on the FDC boss vanished in thin air, right under the noses of people who are charged with doing all the murky work that is national security.

If a vital file can vanish at ISO headquarters who am I to complain about a hard drive disappearing at Bullseye! Creative? The state asked for two days and then now a week to get back on their feet, I am not gonna ask for any extensions.

Just bring all your advertising and branding work to the people whose thinking is inspired. Super stars do not die, when they die you find them in part two and even when they die in part two, like Arnold Schwazzenneger, they say ‘I’ll be back!’ Now that’s what we call a bull’s eye!

Harry Sagara is Chief Executive, Bullseye! Creative
0752 445367